


Their Love Can Take Them Away Together

by goodyfresh



Series: Steven Universe: After the Future [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Death, Death from Old Age, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, Growing Old Together, Old Age, Post-Canon, Post-Steven Universe Future, Romance, Soulmates, Tragedy, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23949079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodyfresh/pseuds/goodyfresh
Summary: Steven and Connie die together of old age, surrounded by their dearest friends and family.The first chapter is completely self-containedand is the one in which they die. I am now writing a very long multi-chapter epilogue about grief and mourning from everyone else's perspectives. There's also a prequel-fic focused on a particular pairing (see "Notes" below).The story is also posted on FF.net:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13570394/1/Their-Love-Can-Take-Them-Away-Together
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)
Series: Steven Universe: After the Future [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900498
Comments: 16
Kudos: 50





	1. Their Love Can Take Them Away Together

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings** : Character deaths due to natural causes, and a LITTLE bit of cussing (by Lars, which shouldn't come as a surprise)
> 
>  **Premise/Notes** : Steven and Connie die of old age; read on to discover why they're dying together. There are certain ships I decided to include, one of them just being a popular fan-ship that really has no canonical basis. I also threw in the idea of a certain character having (unrequited) feelings for a certain other character. No, I don't ship Lapidot, because I interpret Peridot as being aromantic and asexual; sorry if some of you guys are unhappy about who I ship with Lapis instead. I also don't address the question of whether Steven and Connie's descendants have any powers, although I refer to them as "human" and they certainly don't have gemstones.
> 
>  **My other S.U. fanfic _"Doing Something Better"_ is a prequel to this one** focused on Jasper and Lapis! However, _**this story is able to stand completely on its own** ; by no means does anyone HAVE to read "Doing Something Better" in order to follow everything in this story!_ But for those who desire a deeper understanding of the parts of this story involving Lapis and Jasper, the prequel is definitely recommended!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie say their final goodbyes to everyone before dying. This first chapter can be considered the "main" story, and **_it's entirely self-contained_** and can be read as a one-shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I stated in the summary, this first chapter is entirely self-contained and can be read as a one-shot.
> 
> I have to give credit to the wonderful **_Caleb Nova_** for helping me revise and overhaul this first chapter; many people in the _Gravity Falls_ fandom on here probably know who he is.

Within an extremely large climate-controlled medical tent just outside the confines of Little Homeworld is a plethora of medical equipment surrounding a double-wide hospital bed, monitored by human doctors and nurses who maintain a cold and silent demeanor. Resting on the bed are a pair of wrinkled elderly figures, laying side-by-side and hand-in-hand: Steven and Connie Maheswaran-Universe, aged ninety-eight and ninety-seven years old respectively.

Their once dark brown hair has grayed, and Connie's healthy brown complexion has grown somewhat sallow and spotted from old age. A pair of heart monitors beside the bed beat an unsteady rhythm; as Connie's heartbeat gradually slows and becomes more erratic, Steven's heartbeat mysteriously seems to synchronize with and match her rhythm.

But within their eyes shines the same light of life and hope which they have always displayed, with the brief exception of when Steven had his "issues" at sixteen and when Connie went through her own issues with PTSD and burnout soon afterwards (one doesn't simply fight in an intergalactic war as a child-soldier and come away mentally unscathed). But those times are long behind them now, and for decades their eyes have shone with joy and strength.

Aside from one individual possessing Future Vision and another possessing Past Vision, no one is aware that Steven surreptitiously licked the palm of his hand before taking hold of Connie's; he's using the last dregs of his power to ensure that she will remain alive and lucid until such time as they've said their goodbyes. After all, _they know just how wordy and dramatic Gems can be_ _,_ and want to make sure that they'll maintain consciousness to let everyone have their say.

Surrounding them on all sides are figures of all different shapes and sizes, both Gems and humans as well as one animal and a number of animated plants. Among them are Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, all the other Crystal Gems, the Diamonds (thus the enormous size of the tent) with Spinel accompanying them, Lars and the Off Colors (now joined by Emerald who is hand-in-hand with Lars), Jasper, Volleyball, and Nephrite Facet-413 Cabochon-12.

Also among them are a human woman, elderly herself at the age of seventy-one, with a light brown complexion and gray hair with soft curls, as well as a man, age sixty-six, bearing a similar complexion and thinning hair, and another man, age sixty, also resembling them. With them are five more humans of varying complexions and ranging in age from twenty-three to forty-six, as well as seven younger humans ranging in age from four to nineteen. With them are their spouses, of various ages and genders. Those humans are Steven and Connie's children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

The sole animal among all these figures is Lion. The plants are Watermelon Stevens and the dog-like descendants of Pumpkin, as well as Cactus Steven, who in the intervening years returned and reconciled with his creator before joining the Watermelon Stevens as part of their civilization.

Also among these figures stand, silent and stoic, a pair of Rubies, a burly Amethyst, and two tall and strongly-built male humans carrying sidearms, all dressed in smart suits and wearing earpieces; they are members of the United States Secret Service, fulfilling their sworn duty to protect their charge. The Cluster is conspicuously absent; it is long "dead" and already said its goodbyes to Steven, as decades ago it gave its consent to Yellow to be deconstructed and rebuilt into its individual components, a project which will keep Yellow busy for the next several millennia.

While inside the tent the atmosphere is subdued and somber, outside the tent there's chaos: A fence has been erected at a distance of fifty feet on all sides and plastered with 'Do Not Cross' signs. Outside the fence, many human figures—mostly journalists—clamor in a disorganized and chaotic fashion as they try to get answers as to what's going on inside, while various Gems and several more members of the Secret Service try to maintain order. The human journalists all desire the same thing:

Information about the current state of the former President and First Gentleman of the United States of America. They also wish to know why the former First Gentleman, who saved their planet and universe with Connie during his youth, is dying alongside his human wife despite being half-Diamond. "Doesn't he have a superhuman constitution," they ask? "Shouldn't he at least age at an extremely slow rate even if he isn't outright immortal?"

Ever since Gems became fully integrated into human society and Little Homeworld was officially declared a city/nation-state over sixty years ago, humanity has known the basic details of the story of Steven and Connie's heroics during their youth. However, because such matters are personal and the few Gems and humans in the know have always respected privacy, the human media have never been informed (no matter how much they tried to ask and even bribe those close to the couple) of the full nature and scope of Steven's powers, nor of the more private details of his and Connie's adventures.

Thus, ever since Connie entered the realm of national politics as an up-and-coming Congresswoman for the state of Delmarva at the youngest possible age of 30, the human media have speculated as to why her husband ages alongside her rather than remaining in his 'prime' as he was in his mid-twenties; the various rumors and theories only became more prevalent and heated as the decades wore on and it became clear that not only was Steven aging alongside Connie, but his aging seemed to somehow **match** hers in a synchronized fashion.

The answer is known only to a select few: Steven has always aged to some extent via the normal human process of growth and aging, but _also_ in accordance with his _self-perception_ due to being a hybrid. By settling down with and marrying the love of his life in his mid-twenties, he 'doomed' (but in his eyes, _blessed_ ) himself to age alongside her as a human would. While some of those close to Steven, especially those who are human (or once human like Lars), never seemed to question how he resigned himself to a mortal fate, many of the Gems he's close to had and continue to have a very difficult time accepting his "choice."

Even now, as Steven and Connie lie upon their deathbed, many of the ageless Gems surrounding them find themselves at a complete loss as to how to cope with the scene before them.

Steven and Connie's human family are all very familiar with Gems and their ways; they understand that the situation is something far more difficult for their Gem friends and family than for themselves, so they've already said their goodbyes and now stand quietly by the couple's bedside, allowing the Gems (as well as Lars and Lion) assembled within the gigantic medical tent to have their say.

The doctors have informed everyone that Connie doesn't have much time left, but are unaware that Steven is using the last of his power to see to it that he and his wife will last up until everyone has said their goodbyes.

By seemingly unspoken agreement among the assembled Gems, Garnet (always the one who could be counted on to stay calm and collected, to show the greatest wisdom, to have a plan) speaks first. She walks up to the bed on Steven's side, de-materializing her visor so she can look the couple in the eyes as she speaks.

"Steven, I always... I always _knew_ , since before you yourself told me about it, from the moment you began dating Connie 82 years ago, I—" She pauses for a moment as she chokes back a sob. "I _knew_ this was how your journey would end. All possible futures, all possible statistical outcomes, no matter the case, whether Connie died a natural or unnatural death, ended in you dying alongside her. But now that it's actually happening, I can't— I just, I... I don't know if I can _accept_ this."

Suddenly, her body destabilizes and she falls apart into Ruby and Sapphire. Ruby, always the more outwardly emotional of the two, breaks down into tears and hysterics, shouting, "Steven, _I don't want to lose you_! I _**can't**_! I _**won't**_! You _**have**_ to decide to be young again! Connie, I love you too, but... but..."

Sapphire grabs her by the shoulders and cuts her off: "Ruby, as Garnet told them, we always knew this would happen. We _must_ accept Steven's fate, no matter how hard it will be for us to live on without him... and without Connie, as well."

Steven and Connie look upon the scene with compassionate gazes, allowing the two Gems to work things out.

Ruby replies: "I know, Sapphire, I know, I just... it's so _hard_. We're gonna live _forever_ , and they'll be _gone_ forever! It's _horrible_! How can you be so _calm_?!"

Sapphire embraces Ruby and cradles her head to her chest as she too sheds tears: "Of _course_ I'm not _calm_ , Ruby. You _know_ I am feeling great sorrow. But we must accept that Connie was always fated to die as all humans are, and that by marrying her Steven decided to share that fate with her. We may lose them, Ruby, but I will always be here for you, no matter what."

Ruby, still sobbing but beginning to calm down, replies, " ** _aggh_** , I know, Sapphire. I just love them _so_ much... and I love you too." At that moment, they re-fuse into Garnet.

With tears streaming down her face, but more collected than before, Garnet summons all her courage and compassion and turns back towards the couple on the bed.

"Steven, and Connie as well, I apologize that I, Ruby, and Sapphire made such a scene. As I said, I _always_ knew that things would end like this, but now that I'm faced with this scene _actually_ occurring before my eyes rather than in my Future Vision, it's difficult for me, the ageless embodiment of the love between two ageless beings, to accept what I'm witnessing. Steven, it was an _honor_ and a _privilege_ to help raise you into the wonderful man you became, even if I sometimes held you back without realizing I was doing so. I'm so proud of you."

"While I can claim that I 'raised' you, the truth is that you _helped_ Ruby, Sapphire, and me grow as people and as a relationship, and I'll _forever_ be grateful to you for the positive influence you've had on my life. Connie, I will always love you as well; I know I wasn't always the best at showing it, but you're my family just as much as Steven is."

"I love you dearly, Connie, both for who you are as an individual, as well as out of gratitude for always being there for Steven as his soulmate. Thanks to you, my dear boy was able to live a happy life; _you're_ the one whose love brought him back to us on that fateful day on the shore 82 years ago, and it's only fitting that _you_ be the one to accompany him as he leaves us one final time."

"Being what I am, I fully understand true love, an eternal bond between two souls which transcends all spatial and temporal boundaries and the entirety of the physical cosmos itself, and I can say with _absolute_ certainty that the bond which the two of you share is the _truest_ love of all. I will always be grateful that you allowed me to plan your wedding just as you planned mine, Steven. Thank you, both of you, for being here for me, Ruby, and Sapphire, and reminding me of what love really is; I will fondly remember you two for as long as I live, for the rest of eternity, and so will Ruby and Sapphire."

When it's clear she's finished, Connie speaks first: "Thank you Garnet, and Sapphire and—" _her sentence is punctuated by a short wheezing cough,_ "—and Ruby. Those sentiments, they mean so much to me. I want to say that I'll never forget you either, but I guess I—" she _coughs again_ _,_ "—can't really be sure of that, can I? I love you too, Garnet, and Ruby and Sapphire as well."

Steven now speaks: "Garnet, and Ruby and Sapphire, I love you so, _so_ much. I know there were sometimes issues, but _please_ don't sell yourself short when it comes to how you raised me. You know, it wasn't _just_ Connie who helped me that day on the shore; she may've given the final push, but _everyone_ helped me, and _you_ were the _first_ one to reach out to me! I've always been _so_ grateful for how you hugged me and didn't let go until I was back to my old self. And it's not just me and Connie who taught _you_ about love, Garnet; _you're_ the one who taught _us_ about how fusion is an _experience_ , about how _Stevonnie_ is an experience. I'll miss you Garnet, Ruby, and Sapphire, and I love you."

By this point, the rest of the Gems—aside from Jasper who continues to maintain her stony facade—are openly sobbing to various degrees. Now that Garnet (the 'wisest' among them) has spoken, the floodgates have opened for the rest. By another unspoken agreement, everyone knows that just as Garnet was first, Amethyst and Pearl will be the last to have their say.

It's Lars (who's slightly aged over the decades to take on the build of a man in his early 20s), surrounded by the Off Colors and Emerald who offer him their unspoken support, who's the next to speak.

Lars says: "Steven, Garnet's totally right! All of us were so _lucky_ to have you in our lives, man. I mean, what would I have _done_ without you? Sure, maybe you got me mixed up in all your crazy Gem-War stuff. But I wouldn't have it any other way, 'cause that's what made me the person I am today! You taught me what it means to be _brave_ , to be a _hero_! And when I finally got my shit together and became brave myself, you were the one who... brought me back."

"I was always so _mean_ to you when we were younger, always teasing you, but, dude, I just... damn, how do I even put this into words? I guess I should say _I owe you everything_ , Steven. And I speak for the rest of the Off Colors when I say that _they_ owe you everything, too."

At this, the Off Colors solemnly nod their heads in respect, although Padparadscha doesn't nod until several seconds later.

"I'm sorry for what a piece of shit I was when we were young. I just hope that I've done you proud by becoming an adventurer and hero in my own right, and helping the enemy I fought against turn her life around like _you_ always did with _your_ enemies; heck, she's _right here_ and she's my _girlfriend_ , ya know?"

Emerald and Steven both chuckle a bit at this.

"Connie, I owe you an apology too; the first time I ever met you, I teased you about being in a bubble with Steven. But later when I really got to know you, I found out that you're the smartest, coolest, bravest human _ever_! Heck, you became the damn _President_ ; that's _awesome_! I'm so happy we became such good friends, Connie."

Lars and Connie lock eyes for a moment in a knowing glance; they both know they'd each become like the sibling that the other never had, much more than what could be encompassed by the word "friends."

"I'm really glad I was able to know both of you guys, and Stevonnie too!"

Once it's clear that Lars has finished, sensing that Connie still needs to rest a bit before she can speak again, Steven speaks up: "It's okay, Lars, we already talked this over a long time ago. You know I never had any issue with you—there was never anything to apologize for in the first place."

At this, Lars chokes back a sob; even after all these years, Steven's kindness and compassion is able to shock him to his core, to shake the very foundations of who he is as a person.

"Of _course_ I'm proud of you, Lars," Steven continues. "You went from just being the guy in the donut-shop, to being a badass space-pirate captain! You're a hero who _gave your life_ to protect the Off Colors, and you're even dating your former enemy! I'm just... I'm _so_ glad I was able to revive you that time on Homeworld. Go on and live your life; you deserve to be happy. I wish you, Emerald, and all the Off Colors the very best. I love you, Lars."

Even Emerald, who never knew Steven very well, becomes a bit choked-up.

Connie speaks, although she has to keep her statements brief, and they continue to be punctuated by coughs and wheezing: "Lars, you don't need to apologize for anything. You're a cool guy, you're my _bro_ , and I've always appreciated you. Live a happy life."

Lars can only nod his head in response as he sobs, and he and the Off Colors step back into the crowd so that others can approach the bed to have their say.

The next to speak is Nephrite. She only speaks to Steven, as she never really knew Connie except as "Steven's human wife" and as the American President.

"Steven, you know why I'm here. When I was corrupted, when everyone else thought I was hopelessly stuck as a monster, you were the one who hoped against hope and tried to _help_ me. Even if you couldn't help me all on your own, I'll always have those hazy memories of when you tried _so_ hard. I'll always be grateful for that, and for how you convinced the other Diamonds—" she briefly glances towards Yellow, Blue, and White with a look of gratitude, "—to help you cure my corruption. Thank you, Steven. If it weren't for you, I'd _still_ be stuck as a monster."

Steven replies: "You're welcome Nephrite. I know we never became close friends or anything once you were un-corrupted; sometimes people just don't click, you know? But I _never_ forgot about you. Trying to help you was something that helped me become who I am; it taught me to always show compassion and understanding even to those who would try to hurt me, which was a valuable lesson I _always_ applied to my life from then on. So _thank you,_ as well."

Nephrite chokes back a sob; she turns her face away and slowly walks back to join the crowd, as she can't bear to see her hero, the man to whom she owes everything, and in her mind, _Her Diamond_ (although she's never had the audacity to voice such a thought) on his death-bed suffering the fate of a mortal.

After Nephrite comes Volleyball. Her typically cheery façade is broken, a look of sorrow upon her face which now bears only the smallest of cracks over her left eye. She briefly glances over at Pearl, the _sister_ she never thought she would have, before stepping up to the bedside and looking down at the two figures upon it.

"Steven, I know we were never close friends, but I'm here today not just for Pearl's sake, but for yours and mine as well. I _no longer fear_ the power you inherited from Pink, and I respect you for the wonderful life you've lived. Just like with Nephrite, you tried your hardest to help me even when it seemed there was no hope. Even if you didn't succeed, even if healing was a journey I had to make on my own, I will always appreciate how hard you tried. Connie, I hardly know you, but I respect you too, both as a warrior and Pearl's student, and as a leader. I wish the both of you the best wherever your journey may take you after this."

Steven softly smiles as he simply replies, "Thank you, Volleyball. I hope that one day, you'll _finish_ healing."

Volleyball steps away with one single tear rolling down her face from her right eye.

The next to move to the bedside and speak are Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth. Bismuth has been standing with Pearl, alternately holding her hand and hugging her around the waist, but now reluctantly releases her hand to walk over to Steven's bedside with the other two, while Volleyball goes to Pearl and gently lays her hand upon her shoulder. It's Lapis (who'd been standing beside a stone-faced Jasper until now) who speaks up first:

"Steven, I— I..." She takes a breath as tears begin to trickle down her face. "I'm going to _miss_ you. I'll miss you _so_ much! You were my _very first_ friend, when I thought I would _never_ be free or have friends! I feel like Nephrite and Volleyball do; when _everybody else_ thought I was _hopeless_ , when they thought I was nothing more than an object," ( _at this, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all look a bit guilty_ ), "just a cracked Gem meant to power a mirror, your compassion and empathy shone through and you _reached out_ to me."

"For the first time in 6000 years, someone _spoke_ to me and _helped_ me. First you _freed_ me, and then you _healed_ me, even _after_ I _attacked_ you and your family! Even with all the conversations we've had about it, even though you've told me a thousand times that you forgive me, a part of me still feels like... like I never really _deserved_ a friend like you. But I've always tried my best to _be_ someone who deserves your friendship... I just hope that _maybe_ I lived up to that at least a _little_ bit."

"Connie, you... you're one of my best friends too! We'll always be the Crystal Temps together with Peridot! You're a _really_ cool and fun person, so hanging out with you was always a blast. Thank you for being my friend, and thank you for always being there for Steven. I love _both_ of you so much... I'm _really_ going to miss you. Even if I'm not... _trapped_ again, I know I'm gonna feel _lonely_ without you guys. I... I'm sorry if I'm making this... weird... I..."

Lapis' words fail her and she breaks down and begins to weep, a rare thing for the Gem so accustomed to anguish that she didn't cry even under the influence of Blue Diamond's powers. Jasper haltingly walks over and takes her hand to comfort her; Lapis leans against her side as she cries.

Peridot, wearing Steven's old star t-shirt (she's had it mended and color-restored many times over the decades) from his "Classic Steven" days, comes up to Lapis' other side and hugs her leg as she speaks next.

"Steven and Connie, I love you guys **_so_** much! _What am I gonna **do**_ without you two? Connie, who's gonna teach me all about human history and science if you aren't around? Steven, who's gonna sit with me and watch super-dorky TV-shows and movies and actually outwardly react to them emotionally—" ( _Lapis, while still crying, nevertheless chuckles a little at this unintentional jab_ ), "—with me? **_Ugh_** , this is... it's just..."

She takes a breath before continuing: "Steven, it's thanks to you that I was able to become a _good person_ , because you _believed_ in me and _never gave up_ on me. I know I said this before a long time ago, but where am I **_ever_** gonna find another Steven as good as you? You're **_the best Steven_** there is! And Connie, you're _the best Connie_! _**Agggh, I don't know how to do this, I'm such a CLOD!**_ I guess like always I'm just making a **_fool_** of myself, talking first and thinking after! I should keep this _short_ or I'll end up... _rambling_. My... my _point_ is that you guys are the best human and half-gem friends a Peridot could _ever_ have, and I'll _never forget_ you, and I _love_ you!"

Peridot breaks down into choked sobs and blows her nose into the hem of Lapis' pants (which Lapis doesn't bother objecting to).

Finally, it's Bismuth's turn to speak, having waited patiently for her two less socially skilled friends to speak their minds:

"Steven and Connie, what can I even say to you guys? Steven, I _would_ say I owe you an apology for what happened when we first met, but we've already _been there, done that_. So instead I'll say that I've always been grateful for how you un-bubbled me and accepted me back into the Crystal Gems with no hesitation, with all the forgiveness and compassion that anyone could ever imagine! You really are a great friend, Steven."

At this, she steps back a bit and grabs Pearl's hand again before continuing: "Heck, if it wasn't for you, I never would've gotten over my jitters and confessed to Pearl here; _you're_ the one who convinced me to stop carrying a torch like a fool for all those years and actually _do_ something!"

Pearl, still crying, nonetheless chuckles and blushes a bit.

Bismuth continues: "It's _always been you_ , Steven. _You've_ always been the one to bring me to my _senses_ , to help me be the _best_ Crystal Gem I can be, to convince me to never take shortcuts or make excuses! I know you don't think of friendship as a give-and-take, and that's one of the things that's so _great_ about you, but the fact is that you could live a _thousand_ human lifetimes and I still couldn't _ever_ do enough to repay you. I'm grateful that you at least gave me a chance to do everything I _could_ to help you, and to help Connie here too."

"Connie, you're the greatest human I've ever known, a trooper to the very end, _a true Crystal Gem_! It was an honor to forge your sword for you, and it was an honor to fight by your side. You grew into a wonderful woman not just as a warrior, but as a great leader in the human world, a leader who helped us Gems in Little Homeworld integrate into this world! Connie and Steven, _thank you_ for _everything_. I love you _so_ much, and always will; like everyone else said, I'll never forget you."

She too breaks down into tears, and once again takes Pearl into her arms; this time it's as much for her own comfort as for Pearl's.

With 'the trio' done speaking, Steven replies first so as to give Connie a chance to rest before speaking. Despite aging and currently dying alongside Connie, who has significantly weakened (despite his best efforts) during the course of all this conversation, Steven retains the strength to speak in entire paragraphs thanks to his superhuman constitution.

"Lapis, like you said we've already been over this tons of times, but I'll tell you _again_ that you shouldn't feel like my friendship is something you need to _earn_ or _deserve_. You know that isn't how it works. And _even if you did_ owe me some kinda debt, I'd say you paid it back _with interest_ by holding me down and stopping me from hurting anybody when I became a monster. Lapis, you're _awesome_ , and I love you a whole lot. I'm really happy I was able to free you from the mirror, and I'm really happy that we became such good friends! I know that sometimes you feel insecure or lonely, but you're a _great_ person and an _awesome_ friend who's always stepped up to the plate when I really needed you, that one time even literally when we had to play baseball!"

This earns a tearful chuckle from everyone who was present for the baseball game against the Ruby Squad, and confusion from everyone else. Even now on his deathbed, Steven still has his dorky-yet-charming sense of humor.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Lapis; we'll always be Beach Summer Fun Buddies. Peridot, I love you too. You said I'm the best half-Gem friend a Peridot could ever have; well, _you're_ the best _Peridot_ friend a half-Gem could ever have! I always loved hanging out with you no matter what we did; back when I was having those issues at sixteen, _you_ were the first person to _really_ figure out a hint of just how _isolated_ I felt, and what you told me then, that we don't need an excuse to hang out and be friends, has always meant _so_ much to me. It's totally okay if you're not always the best at expressing yourself with _words_ , because your _actions_ have always shown me what a great friend you are."

At this, Peridot becomes even more choked up, taking off her visor and looking Steven in the eyes as she weeps.

"Peridot, I'm gonna miss you too," Steven says. "I guess my only regret is that once I got better, we never did get around to making our own reboot of the reboot of Camp Pining Hearts... what a shame, heh." Peridot chuckles a bit through her tears, and only Lapis and Connie understand the in-joke to any extent.

"And Bismuth, I mean, aw man, what can _I_ even say? Sure, maybe we didn't start off on the best foot, but to be fair, how many people here _didn't_ try to kill me before becoming my friends?"

This earns a chuckle from everyone present besides the Secret Service agents and the doctors and nurses, who watch Connie's monitors with concern and a hint of confusion.

"And like you said, we already moved past that a long time ago. I'm _so_ grateful to you for how you helped us in battle _and_ for your friendship! You said I was the one who convinced you to ask out Pearl; well to be honest, that was just my way of repaying you for convincing me to get over myself and reconnect with Connie at the roller-rink!" This earns an amused, grateful, and surprised 'aha' look from Connie towards Bismuth as Steven continues speaking:

"Bismuth, I'm _really_ happy I was able to un-bubble you, bring you back to the Crystal Gems, and become your friend. I love you, and I'll miss you."

He gives a questioning look to Connie; she's become noticeably weakened during the course of all the conversations so far, but nevertheless, she summons the strength to speak, even if her words are frequently punctuated by coughs and wheezes:

"Guys, I've gotta keep this short. Lapis, I'm really glad we got to be friends, too! Being the Crystal Temps was fun, and I always had fun when we hung out. Peridot, you were a great friend too; I always had a blast talking about science, history, and other intellectual stuff with you! Bismuth, I'm so grateful to you as a warrior _and_ as a friend; you were there for me when I needed you, and you always built whatever I, whatever _we_ , needed. Thank you for making my sword, for building the house in which Steven and I lived, and even for making this giant medical tent for us! All three of you, you're the be-"

Suddenly Connie breaks into a coughing fit that lasts for a good ten seconds; Steven grips her hand tightly, secretly channeling more of his healing powers into her. Once she settles down, Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis look at her through watery eyes and nod, with Bismuth saying, "It's okay Connie, you don't have to force yourself."

The next to speak is Jasper. She separates from Lapis and walks up to Steven's bedside with as stern a look on her face as ever, but when she looks down at Steven and Connie, her façade cracks and her expression softens, and she speaks after hesitating for only a moment:

"My Diamond, Steven... you know I'm not good at this kind of thing, at being... _sentimental_... and that I can't really _accept_ this. Sure, I did what what you told me. I did something _better_ with my life. I became _friends_ with other Gems, I became friends with _you_ rather than continuing to act as an underling you never wanted... I even found _love_ with someone who was able to teach me what you meant about being 'better.'"

At this, Lapis gently pries Peridot off of her leg and walks over to take hold of Jasper's hand again, as she knows that this is very difficult for her partner. Jasper briefly glances down at Lapis with poorly concealed gratitude before looking back towards Steven and continuing:

"I even learned to be _civil_ with humans and other Earthlings. You already know this Steven, you've known it for 82 years, but I still think of you as _My Diamond_. But you also know that it's not just because of your power. At first I _only_ respected your power—and I _still do_ —but later I came to _also_ respect you for being the person who gave me the push I needed to finally get my act together and become better."

"I respect you for being _strong_ in the _real_ way. I'm glad that I was able to get past thinking of you as my _superior_ and learn to see you as a _friend_. You will _always_ be My Diamond because you're the person I respect the _most_ out of all my friends, the person who taught _so many_ people how to be _truly strong_. I've accepted you and I respect you for who and what you are, Steven."

Jasper sighs and continues: "But _this_ , what's happening now... even though I've _known_ it would happen ever since you explained it to me decades ago, it's... _hard_ for me to _respect_ it, and I don't know if I can _ever_ truly _accept_ it. That you chose to cohabitate and have offspring with a human, I accepted _that_ long ago."

Jasper looks at Connie and says: "Connie, you know that I haven't disliked you for a very long time. You know that I immensely _respect_ you for your _intelligence_ , your _skills_ as a _warrior_ , and your abilities as a _leader_ who was recognized by both humans and Gems... But Connie, you know that while I _don't dislike_ you, and while I _respect_ you, I also don't _like_ you either."

Jasper sighs before continuing: "There was a brief time when we _nearly_ became friends, Connie, but then... then I found out that _this_ would be the end result of Steven's relationship with you. You know that after that I never _could_ like you, because a part of me will always feel like this is _your_ fault, even if I know how _unfair_ that is to you. I'm... _sorry_ , Connie, that I was never able to like you, that I was never able to stop _blaming_ you for My Diamond's, my dear friend Steven's... _mortality_."

Connie gives Jasper a nod and an understanding look in response; she talked about this with Jasper long ago and ever since then, Jasper was always _friendly_ with her but never _befriended_ her. At least Jasper wanted to _try_ to befriend her, but was _honest_ with her about how she simply _couldn't_ do so. This is _exactly_ what Connie expected from Jasper on the day of her and Steven's death, and she long ago accepted it.

Jasper nods back at Connie, a look of respect on her face as they lock eyes, before she turns her eyes back to Steven and continues: "Steven, _My Diamond,_ why do you _have_ to die with her? It's _not too late_. Can't you live on? Can't you become young again like Ruby said? I _know_ I'm being _weak_ , I'm being a _fool_ and disregarding your wishes, I'm not treating you with respect as a _friend_ should. But I just... I... I don't know how to _go on living_ in a world without you. I _know_ I can't _actually_ change your mind. I guess in the end I'm not really that much _better_ after all, huh? I... I'm sorry, Steven."

When it's clear that Jasper has finished, Steven responds: "It's okay, Jasper. You _are_ doing much better with your life! Just look at you—you have _friends_ now, you're _my_ friend. You said it, Jasper: You _never_ attack Earthlings anymore, you're actually _nice_ to people, and you've even found _love_! I'm _really_ proud of how much you've grown and to call you my friend. I have _faith_ that you can go on living after this; you're _strong_ now Jasper, strong in _the real way_ , and I know that with great friends like Amethyst and the other Crystal Gems, and an amazing partner like Lapis, you'll be able to move past this someday."

Steven briefly locks eyes with Lapis before looking back at Jasper. The three of them have shared a very special and unique connection for 82 years now, and there are countless things conveyed in those glances that go unsaid as Steven continues: "I always knew, Jasper, that you wouldn't be able to accept my fate, a fate which was never a _choice_ at all. I knew from the time I first told you about how things would end that you'd never be able to accept it. And Connie and I, we _never expected_ you to _like_ her, so that's okay; we're happy that you at least _respect_ her so much!"

At this, Connie gives another affirmative nod, but still doesn't speak as she's saving the last of her strength to speak to Lion, Amethyst, and Pearl.

Steven continues: "Jasper, I don't expect you to _accept_ my fate. Like I always have, like I did the first time I told you about what would happen, I ask that you try to _understand_ and _respect_ it. You've found love, Jasper, so you know what it's like to have a _soulmate_ , someone who _completes_ you. So you should understand why growing old was never really a choice for me. If Lapis was going to die, could you live on forever, for the rest of eternity, without her?"

Jasper finally begins to shed a few tears, squeezing Lapis' hand as she says: "No, of _course_ I couldn't. I... I _do_ respect and understand why things have to be this way, Steven. Wherever you go after this, I wish you to be happy. I'll _always_ remember you, and always... always _love_ you... My _Diamond_ , my _friend_... Steven." She briefly gives him the old Diamond Salute, which now has so much more meaning between the two of them than merely a gesture of submission, before her façade crumbles completely and she breaks down into tears in Lapis' arms.

Now it's time for the Diamonds and Spinel to have their say. Everyone else steps aside to make room for the towering former leaders of Homeworld. Yellow Diamond, as always the best at containing and handling her emotions, is the first to speak while Blue leans upon her shoulder and clings to her like a lifeline:

"Steven, I long ago gave up on trying to convince you to find a way to avoid aging and dying as a human. But just as your friend the Jasper told you, that doesn't mean I can _accept_ your choice. I'm _trying_ my best to _understand_ your reasons, but the concept of _romantic_ love remains... _foreign_ to me. And yet, I know that living forever in a world without Pink has and will always cause me grief, so I can at least _somewhat_ understand not wanting to go on living in a world without someone you love."

"But... no... I suppose I _still_ can't understand this. Have I _really_ changed at _all_ , Steven? I guess I'm the same old Diamond I've always been, unable to understand and accept others' feelings, always wanting things to go my way. Perhaps I'm still nothing more than an obsessive control freak, just like I was when I abused you on Homeworld 84 years ago. I'm sorry, for everything."

With tears beginning to trickle from her eyes, Yellow sighs before continuing: "Steven, the time which I've had to get to know you, only 84 years... it's _far_ too _short_. I and my sisters, we've lived for _eons_ , and will likely _continue_ to live on for as long as the universe itself. We're _old_ , Steven, older than anyone can imagine; before Era One, there was _Era Zero_. We Diamonds were... born... _billions_ of years before we eventually created _other_ Gems, so even _they_ seem young by _our_ standards. I don't think that you, Connie, or _anyone_ can _fathom_ the way we Diamonds perceive time."

All the non-Diamond Gems present are _shocked_ to hear Yellow speak of such things; the Diamonds _never_ say _anything_ to _anyone_ about their age or origins. But it makes sense that if there was _any_ time when the Diamonds _would_ speak of their origins, it would be _now_ when the light of Pink's gem is about to fade away forever.

Yellow continues: "To us Diamonds who have witnessed the births and deaths of entire _star systems_ , the lifespan of a human seems like nothing more than _the blink of an eye_ during the vast span of _eternity_. I will always be proud that I was able to _love_ you, to call you my _nephew_. But the thought of _losing_ you, of living on _forever_ without you in my life, I don't know if I'll _ever_ be able to accept it and move on."

"Connie, I... I don't harbor any ill will towards you, despite Steven's love for you being what has doomed him to this fate. I always respected your intellect, leadership abilities, and dedication. You were a wonderful President, an _infinitely_ greater leader than _I_ ever was. And I'll forever be _grateful_ to you... 84 years ago on Homeworld you empathized with my situation; it was _you_ , Connie, who convinced me to finally be honest with White about our issues. I hope you realize that _I love you too_ , Connie—we're _family_ after all. _Both_ of you, I hope you can forgive me for being unable to accept what's happening."

"Steven, Connie, wherever you go now, I will _always_ love you, and always miss you. I wish you both the best during your journey, a journey which White, Blue, and I may never be able to make until countless more eons have passed and the very last star fades from existence."

Blue, still leaning on Yellow's shoulder, has broken down completely in tears, and it's taking all her willpower and control to keep her powers from manifesting and forcing her grief upon all the Gems (including Steven) present. Barely trusting herself to speak, all she manages to say is, "St-Steven, Connie... e-everything Yellow said, it's... it's how I feel as well. I... I l-love you and will forever miss you." She returns to sobbing uncontrollably as she leans upon Yellow, herself now openly weeping, and is unable to speak further as she focuses on suppressing her powers.

As Connie gazes towards Yellow and Blue with compassion and understanding, Steven replies to them: "Yellow, Blue, you have nothing to apologize for. I _always_ knew how how _impossible_ to accept this would be for you, and for White as well." At this, White, who has been standing beside Yellow and Blue with her hands over her mouth, clearly holding back tears, nods sorrowfully. Spinel is perched upon White's shoulder, openly weeping.

Steven continues: "I learned a long time ago to stop blaming myself for things I can't control, but even so, I'll say that if anyone should _apologize_ here, it's _me_. Resigning myself to a mortal life by living with Connie was never a _choice_ for me, but still... I always _knew_ that it would hurt you, and _all_ my Gem friends and family, very deeply. I always had my _suspicions_ about just how old you really are... so I already figured that my life must seem unbearably short to you. I'm sorry that I can't be here for you, as your family, for longer than this, and I'm sorry that the light of Pink's gem will disappear forever. As for the stuff you did in the past, _it's behind us_ ; you know I already forgave you long ago. I love both of you so much."

Yellow, speaking one last time for both herself and Blue, says between sobs: "Steven, i-it's... it's alright, don't apologize... your life was always yours to live the way you wanted to. Steven and Connie, we love you both dearly." Steven and Connie nod towards Yellow and Blue, who step back while continuing to lean upon one another and weep.

As Spinel hops down from her shoulder, White steps closer to the bed and speaks, trying her best to avoid melodrama and theatrics:

"Steven, and Connie as well, I... Yellow said everything that I myself would say, except for a few very important things. I... I know we've already discussed this, and that you've forgiven me, but one last time, I feel I owe you an apology. All the suffering and hardship you, your family, and your friends ever experienced, it was _all_ my fault for imposing my faulty ideals upon the universe. What I did to you that time inside my Head on Homeworld... Of all my _countless_ wicked deeds, it will _forever_ be my single _greatest_ regret. I... St-Steven, I'm s-sor..."

White pauses and takes a breath to steady herself before continuing: "I'm sorry Steven, and Connie as well, for all the pain I caused you. Connie, I will forever be grateful to you for _laughing_ at me on that fateful day, for _humbling_ me as was so necessary at the time. I'm also grateful to you for bringing all of us to our senses on that later day upon the shore when Steven needed our help. You're both my family, and just as Yellow said, I will _always_ love you, and _forever_ miss you. There is one final matter... a _favor_ I wish to ask of you Steven, if it wouldn't be too much. I wish to _understand_ what you're _feeling_ , what you are going through physically and mentally. May I, perhaps, use my powers to connect with you?"

Most of those assembled are surprised that White kept her words short and to the point while avoiding excessive melodrama. As Connie nods towards her in understanding, Steven answers her: "It's okay, White, there's no need for apologies. The past is the past, and like you said, we've moved on and forgiven you. I only hope that someday you, Blue, and Yellow can forgive _yourselves._ Connie and I love you, White, and I'm happy I got to have you, Blue, and Yellow as my aunts. And yeah, you may use your powers... I dunno if you'll _like_ learning what dying feels like, but... if that's what you really want, then go ahead."

White tearfully nods and takes a slight step back. She outstretches her arms, the room flashes with various colors, and suddenly, her body turns pink. A few seconds later, she deactivates her powers and returns to normal.

She gasps, clearly shocked, briefly looking down at the couple's joined hands and then glancing compassionately at Connie, before she solemnly speaks once more:

"So _this_ is _natural death_ by _aging_. The inescapable fate of organic lifeforms. I... I feel that perhaps I _understand_ it now. _No one_ else in all of existence could have given me the opportunity to comprehend this concept. Thank you, Steven." She begins to tear up and her voice trembles as she continues: "I just wish th-that I could alleviate your... your _pain_." She glances at the couple's joined hands again and says: "And Connie, I, w-well... n-no, never mind... I shouldn't take up more of your precious remaining _time_. Steven and Connie, _both_ of you... _thank you_ for being my _family_. I will forever love and miss you both."

Connie nods again and she and Steven briefly lock eyes with White; White finally lets the floodgates open, collapsing to her knees upon the ground (causing a small earthquake in the process), mournfully sobbing with a waterfall of tears streaming from her eyes onto the ground below. Yellow, still weeping herself and with Blue still clinging to her, walks over to White and gently takes hold of her, helping her stand and moving her to the back of the crowd.

With tears streaming down her face, Spinel walks up to Steven's bedside. She speaks in a voice choked with tears: "Steven, Connie, I... I know that when we first met, I did _horrible_ things. You've _forgiven_ me for the stuff I did, but I'll still _always_ feel kinda bad about it. I know that I've always been too... _clingy_ , that I haven't always been the best friend, and that I haven't ever been good at taking stuff... _seriously_. But now... with this... I guess I finally _have_ to be serious again for once, huh?"

Spinel chokes back a deep sob while simultaneously chuckling a bit, obvious hysteria in her tone, before continuing: "Steven, I think we both always knew that I'm in lo-... I... ugh, I suppose even now, I _shouldn't say it_. I never said or tried anything because, well... I always knew that you don't feel..." She briefly grips her head in her hands and scrunches up her eyes, a look of anguish and madness upon her face, yanking at her pigtails for a moment before somewhat pulling herself back together and opening her eyes again.

" _ **Aggh**_ , Steven and Connie, I'm _sorry_ , I shouldn't have said _anything_ at _all_ , I don't wanna make things all _weird_. I know that you two were always meant to be together... and deep down, I always _knew_ things would end this way, but just kept _hoping_ that Steven would somehow _always_ be around at least as my friend if nothing else. Connie, you know we're friends too, I never hated you and I never will—you're a great person after all! I'm happy that you were around to make Steven happy, Connie, and I'm also really happy that you're my friend like he is! I... I l-love both of you, and I'm going to m-miss you so, s-so _much_!"

At this, she breaks down completely into deep, heaving sobs, and using her powers proceeds to firmly but gently wrap her arms around both Connie and Steven, as well as the entire bed and its frame, hugging them as if she's hanging on for dear life as she continues to weep.

Connie weakly nods along and both she and Steven gently take hold of Spinel's arms to reassure her as Steven responds: "It's _okay_ Spinel, really. You have _nothing_ to be sorry for. I... _we_ actually _always_ realized how you feel, and we _never_ held it against you; I actually _understand_ it Spinel, because I know you can't _control_ your feelings any more than _I_ can control how my own love for Connie made me age with her. I _do_ love you dearly as a friend, Spinel... we _both_ do. You were fun to have around. Just, _promise_ us you'll try to move on and keep being the same funny, upbeat Gem you've always been, okay? We'll miss you."

Spinel nods and barely manages to choke out, "I... I _p-promise_ ," and begins sobbing all the harder, hugging them more tightly. The doctors glare daggers at her; before any of the nurses can do anything, Garnet dashes over to gently tap on Spinel's shoulder and whisper something in her ear. With reluctance, Spinel relinquishes her hold on the couple and their bed, allowing Garnet to lead her over to the Diamonds. She hops back up onto White's shoulder and with a look of agony on her face hugs her gigantic friend with long stretchy arms, each of them providing much needed comfort to the other.

By this point the doctors are quite perplexed by the readouts on the monitors. It's been longer than they expected; Gems are so _long-winded_ compared to humans when saying their final goodbyes to elderly relatives, and Connie shouldn't have been able to maintain consciousness and lucidity for this long. Noticing the doctors' confusion, Garnet glances at them and then at Steven and Connie's joined hands, a knowing look in her eyes. White, having caught a glimpse into Steven's mind, notices as well. Some time later, Padparadscha also knowingly glances at the doctors and then at the couple's joined hands.

Finally, just as Garnet was the _first_ to say her piece, it's now time for Lion, Amethyst, and Pearl to say the _last_ goodbyes.

Lion walks over to Steven's side of the bed and nuzzles his arm while gently purring and growling, giving one firm lick to Steven's hand; Steven reaches up and ruffles Lion's mane. Lion then walks over to Connie and does the same; she and Steven both smile and nod at Lion as Connie summons some of her last remaining strength to reach up and pet him, before allowing her hand to fall limply back to her side.

She speaks, punctuated by more coughing and wheezing: "Lion, I speak for both of us when I say we love you _so_ much. You're such a good boy, you were always there for us when we really needed you. We're gonna miss you. Try not to be too sad, and don't be a stranger to the Crystal Gems just because we're gone. Goodbye, Lion."

Steven nods along while maintaining eye-contact with Lion, and then Lion steps back, settling down upon the floor beside Lars, who pats his head as he grows and sulks. "I know, buddy, I know," Lars says, as tears stream down his face and Emerald holds his other hand to comfort him.

Amethyst walks up to the bed on Steven's side, rivers of tears already pouring from her eyes. In a wavering voice, she speaks to the couple.

"Steven, Connie... dudes, what can I even _say_ that'd be _enough_? Steven, bro, you mean _so **much**_ to me. When I say 'bro,' you know I mean it in the _real_ way, 'cause you're legit like a _brother_ to me, ya know? You were always _there_ for me, whether we were separate or fused as Smoky, and you helped me grow outta all my dumb insecurities and junk. You did _everything_ you could to help me, even if that meant _fighting_ me! You taught me that we didn't have to be the worst Gems, that we _never were_ the worst Gems; you taught me how to **_believe_** in myself, man. You taught me how to _like being me_. **_You_** are the ding-dong sunshine future, Steven, and I'm _still_ your friend **_forever_**!"

"And Connie, if Steven is my _bro_ , then I guess _you_ must be my _sister-in-law_ or whatever, huh? I'm sorry I never told you that sooner. You're the _coolest_ human I've _ever_ known, _even cooler_ than Greg or Vidalia; you're so strong and brave, always ready to take on _anything_ with Steven. You were an _awesome_ President! You were always so _great_ to Steven... I'm not mad at all that he's like, subconsciously chosen to die with you or whatever, 'cause I know that you made him _so_ happy, girl! Your guys' wedding was one of the best days of my whole life! Ugh, dudes, this _**sucks**_. I... I'm sorry, I'm not good at this kinda thing, I'm not any better at it than I was when Greg passed."

Amethyst briefly pauses, clearly trying to hold herself together, before taking a deep shaky breath and continuing: "I just... I **_knew_** this would happen, you and Garnet both _**warned**_ me and Pearl about it like eighty freaking years ago, but that doesn't mean I'm _ready_ for it to actually be _**real**_ , ya know?"

Shape-shifting her left arm for longer reach, she takes hold of Steven's free hand with her right hand while reaching across the bed to grab Connie's with her left.

"Just like everybody else said, I'll miss you dudes _forever and ever_! Wherever you guys go now, I just hope you won't forget all the great times we had. I love you sis... and bro."

Steven, looking Amethyst straight in the eyes while squeezing her hand, tells her, "Haa haa, you care about me." Amethyst tearfully giggles at this inside joke as Steven continues: "I hope I won't forget you either, Amethyst. I love you _so_ much. You're the best sister a guy could _ever_ have. It wasn't just me who supported you, Amethyst... _you_ helped prop _me_ up and give me confidence, too, so I guess we're _both_ the ding-dong sunshine future! I wish we could become Smoky one last time, but my power's running too low for that. Just, well... Amethyst, always stay funny and keep being the _absolute coolest_ , okay?"

Connie, also looking Amethyst in the eyes, tells her (again punctuated with coughs and wheezes): "Amethyst, I love you too sis. You really _are_ the coolest, and like Steven said I hope you stay as funny, upbeat, and laid-back as you've always been."

At this, Amethyst gives their hands one last squeeze, before walking in a daze over to Garnet and breaking down into frantic, choked sobs, her arms around Garnet as she clings to her for support; Garnet, herself still crying, kneels down on one knee and gently strokes Amethyst's hair in a soothing fashion.

At last, after all the others, it's Pearl's turn. Bismuth and Volleyball begin to ask if she needs them to go with her, but she shakes her head and haltingly walks up to Steven's side of the bed. She tries several times to speak before the words finally pour from her in a shaky voice; it's clearly difficult for her as her face is contorted into an expression of pure agony as tears stream down her face.

"S-S-Steven and C-Connie, I... I don't know what I'm going to _do_ without you two in my life. Steven, like Amethyst said, you and Garnet both warned us that this would happen, but I still just... can't really face the harsh reality before me. Steven, you were always like... l-like a _son_ to me. I think that maybe you already realized that, didn't you?"

Steven nods his head. Pearl says, "I suppose that I was sometimes... a _bit_ overprotective or overzealous, wasn't I?"

In the background, Amethyst overhears this and chuckles in spite of her own grief.

"At first that was because I saw so much of your mother in you, but later it was because I came to love _you_ so very dearly. Even now, I feel I can't let go. When you... pass on, the light of Pink's gem will fade from this world. But _that_ isn't what matters to me anymore, _she_ isn't what matters to me anymore; I've long since moved past the loss of your mother, and I've accepted that she was _far_ from being the paragon of strength and virtue that I once believed her to be."

"But you, Steven... losing you will be like losing her all over again, but even _worse_ because I only had _such a short time_ with you, and also because _you_ , Steven, _really are_ a paragon of virtue and strength who we can all look up to and admire. I know this is _selfish_ of me, but just like a few of the others said, I wish... I... I w-wish that you would stay here with us, your Gem family, forever."

Pearl pauses to collect herself, taking several deep, wavering breaths before continuing:

"But I know all too well the pain of having the one you love most pass away while you live on, so... I understand why you have to stay with Connie forever. I will always be _grateful_ to you, Steven; if it weren't for you always pushing me to open up to others, I would've stayed within my shell forever as the same boring and uptight Pearl I always was. I never would've allowed myself to make new friends if it weren't for you, and _certainly_ never would have allowed myself to find new _love_."

She briefly steals a glance at Bismuth, and looks back at Steven before saying: "I know I'm dragging this out, but since I'm the... the _last_ to speak before you... l-leave us... I want to speak for _everyone_ here, not just for myself. And that's why I need to say, Steven, that I'm _so proud_ of you. We _all_ are."

Garnet and Amethyst, looking upon the scene while sobbing, both nod their heads in agreement, as do all the other assembled Gems, even the Secret Service agents; even they have begun to lose their composure and shed tears.

Pearl continues: "It all went by so _quickly_. Before I knew it, you grew from a silly, lovable little boy into a wonderful, equally lovable, sharp-witted, incredibly strong man who saved the world and the entire universe. Sure, you had a bit of a rough patch, but thanks to Connie here whipping us all into shape, you were able to get through it. Connie, I am _so_ proud of _you_ too. Just as Steven is like a son to me, you... I know you had your own human mother, but I hope it isn't... _strange_ to say that you're like a _daughter_ to me. Connie, you're _far_ more than just a student who surpassed my expectations in the way of the sword."

She takes another breath before continuing: "Connie, you're one of the most intelligent people I've ever known. You are _the_ bravest warrior I've ever known, facing countless dangers alongside Gems despite being a human with a fragile body. And look at you now; you survived all of that and lived a long, happy life with Steven. You even became _the greatest leader in human history_ ; you took the final political steps to integrate Gems into human society, you forged an alliance between Earth and the Gem Republic, and you led humanity to work together with Gems to save this world from an environmental catastrophe of their own making! You're an _incredible_ woman, Connie, and you are truly strong."

" _Thank you_ Connie, for being the daughter I could never have due to my nature as a Gem. _Thank you_ for being there for my precious boy and for loving him with all your heart and soul. Both of you mean _so_ much to me... Just as Amethyst said, your wedding day was one of the happiest days of my entire life."

She pauses once more for a breath before continuing: "I'm not really sure how I'm going to cope with losing you two, or how long it will take me to move on... but I promise you, I w... I will _try_ to stay strong, because I know you want me to. I'm so proud of you two, I will never forget you, and I will miss you for the rest of eternity. I love you so much. Good... goodbye." At this, she leans over the bed to place a soft kiss upon Connie's forehead, before then shifting backwards and kissing Steven's forehead as well. A few of her tears fall on them.

When Pearl straightens up and looks down at them through eyes blurred with tears, Connie takes a deep, wheezing breath and summons all her remaining strength in order to reply in complete sentences, a few tears of joy leaking from her eyes.

"Thank you Pearl, that was beautiful. What you said, it's _not_ weird... I honestly _do_ think of you as a second mom, and I'm glad you feel the same way and told me about it before the end. I'm _really_ happy I was able to make you proud. I love you too, and wherever Steven and I go, I hope I'll never forge-" Suddenly, Connie breaks into another coughing fit, this time lasting for over twenty seconds, causing Pearl and everyone assembled to look on in great concern as Steven tightly squeezes her hand and pours his remaining strength into her through the saliva between their palms.

Once Connie is back to breathing (well, wheezing) normally, Steven, with tears of joy in the corners of his eyes as well, replies: "Pearl, you really _are_ like a mom to me. After all, I never did know my real mom, but you were always there for me to act kinda like a human mom would. I don't mind that you were overprotective or overenthusiastic or that you messed up sometimes; it's not like anybody gave you a _manual_ on how to raise a human-Gem hybrid, or on how to be a parent _at all_ when you're from a species that doesn't have kids."

He takes a breath before continuing: "Pearl, we may've had our ups and downs, but when it came to the stuff that _really_ matters, in the end you did right by me. I'll tell you what I told Jasper: I have _faith_ you _can_ move on from this with everybody's support, because you're _strong_ in the _real_ way. Pearl, it was _you_ who taught me what that means, that _strength_ comes from the _mind_ and _spirit_ rather than from power. Like Connie said, I'm glad I was able to make you proud. And as Connie was _gonna_ say, I hope we'll never forget you. Thank you for everything, and I love you _so_ much too... mom."

Pearl, with trembling hands raised to her mouth and her face contorted into an expression of agony as tears stream down her face, staggers over to Bismuth, who has now joined Garnet and Amethyst along with Peridot and Lapis (Jasper has put her stony façade back up and stands a bit off to the side near Lapis), and falls sobbing into her arms.

It's obvious that Connie expended the last of her strength in order to speak those final words to Lion, Amethyst, and Pearl. The doctors continue to look at the monitors with great confusion; Steven doesn't surprise them, being what he is. But Connie should no longer even be _alive_ , let alone _conscious_ and _lucid_ enough to speak so intelligently and clearly.

All the Gems and humans gathered, as well as the sapient plants and Lion, force themselves to stand upright, some leaning upon others for support, and form a very wide quarter-circle around the foot of the bed, making sure to stay within the couple's field of view.

Spinel hops down from White's shoulder to stand next to her, Yellow, and Blue (who leans upon Yellow for support) while wrapping her stretchy arms around all three Diamonds' lower legs. Pearl leans upon Bismuth for support while Volleyball stands next to her. With Lapis' arm around her waist and Peridot holding onto Lapis' leg, Jasper steels her face and makes the Diamond Salute one final time, determined to maintain the salute until Her Diamond breathes his last breath. Amethyst stands on her other side and shapeshifts her arm to place a comforting hand on her Quartz sister's shoulder. Hesitantly, Nephrite makes the Diamond Salute as well; no one seems surprised or offended by this. Garnet stands alone, but she's never truly alone.

Sensing that the end has come, everyone looks towards the couple on the bed with bated breath. While tears still stream down the faces of many present, the audible sobbing has ceased; the only sounds within the tent are the heavily muffled clamor of the journalists being held back at a distance outside, and the gradually slowing and fading erratic beeping of the heart monitors and other medical equipment. Even Lion and the descendants of Pumpkin have ceased their growling and whining, and the Watermelon Stevens and Cactus Steven stand as part of the circle while holding the pose of Baby Melon with outstretched arms.

Steven and Connie, still hand-in-hand, slowly pan their eyes around the room, surveying all their friends and family, those who they love so dearly, arrayed all about them showing their support. They both grin; it isn't just a soft smile, but an ear-to-ear grin which lights up their entire faces with joy.

Steven chuckles softly and voices his thoughts, as well as Connie's on her behalf, one final time as they both continue to grin:

"It's okay everybody, seriously. We're happy, _really_ happy. All of you being here with us like this and showing your love and support, it means more to us than anything. Nora, Robert, and Greg, you were the best kids ever, and we're so proud of you." Their three elderly children all tear up a bit at this along with their own children and grandchildren, but continue to remain strong for all the Gems present.

"Watermelon Stevens and Cactus Steven, and all you little Gourds, we're really proud of you for how far all you plants have come with your civilization."

"Volleyball, stay strong and keep healing, and please be there for Pearl. I know she's gonna need your support after this, not just Bismuth's and the Crystal Gems'."

"Nephrite, I know you don't mean anything weird by it, so I appreciate the gesture of respect, and I understand your reason for it."

"Lion, I dunno how many decades or centuries you have left, but try to find some happiness, and like Connie said, stop in to say hi to the Gems sometimes and _please_ don't go back to being all alone, okay?"

"Lars, I dunno how long you've got left either, but keep being a totally awesome and happy spaceship captain. Off Colors, and Emerald too, we wish you guys the best as well."

"Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot, thanks for being the best friends we could ever have. Stay strong and keep being there for each other, and try not to be _too_ sad, okay?"

"Jasper, I _know_ you're strong enough to make it through this and move on. I appreciate the salute; I'm happy to have been your Diamond and your friend. Stay strong for Lapis, too."

"Spinel, I know we sometimes had our issues, but you're a great friend, and we'll miss you; I swear that you _didn't_ make things weird for us. Please try to move on and keep being yourself."

"Yellow, Blue, and White... thank you for being my aunts, for being _our_ family. We hope that _someday_ , you'll be able to _forgive_ yourselves like we long ago forgave you. We do wish we could've had more time with you guys so it wouldn't seem so _short_ to you; _please_ don't spend _too_ long mourning us, okay? We love you."

Pausing for a moment, a few more tears of joy and gratitude begin to leak from Steven's eyes, and Connie's as well.

"Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... thank you _so_ much. Thank you for being my _family_ and raising me. All three of you, like I told Pearl it's _okay_ that we had our ups and downs; in the end you really did right by us. Thank you for protecting us and being there when we really needed you. I guess thanking you for each and every thing you did would take too long, so, thank you for _everything_ you've ever done for us. We were _so_ lucky to have you guys in our lives, and we love you."

"Thank you _everyone_ for being here for us until the end. We love all of you _so_ much, and we wish you the best. Goodbye."

Steven and Connie continue grinning from ear to ear, tears of joy and gratitude trickling from their eyes, as everyone around them silently weeps. Steven lets go of Connie's hand and turns onto his side to face her; several of the monitors attached to Connie suddenly start going haywire, and the displayed heart-rates (with Steven's still syncing to Connie's) start to slow and grow more erratic far more rapidly than before, causing the doctors and nurses to become even more confused.

Connie's eyes begin to glaze over as Steven gently takes hold of her and turns her onto her side to face him. As she struggles to maintain consciousness, she leans her forehead slightly forward as Steven does the same. As their grins fade to soft, loving smiles directed towards each other alone, their foreheads gently touch. A pink glow suddenly emanates from the gemstone in Steven's navel and envelops the couple in its soft light; their assembled friends and family softly gasp and choke up further with tears.

When the glow fades, to no one's astonishment except that of the doctors, nurses, and human Secret Service agents, in place of the couple a single very tall figure, so tall their feet dangle off the end of the nine foot long bed, now lies upon their back; a very elderly Stevonnie. The various pairs of medical monitors attached to them indicate that the quarter-Diamond is rapidly fading.

After panning their eyes around the room one final time, taking in the figures of all those who love and care about them, Stevonnie smiles softly and closes their eyes, drawing in one final breath and letting it out slowly. The heart monitor flatlines, and the soft pink light from the diamond in Stevonnie's navel fades away until the gemstone is a dull grayish-pink, dead and inert forevermore.

_Steven and Connie lie dead as Stevonnie, fused into the corpse of a single being forever embodying their love for one another._

Everyone stands in shocked silence, but all present, even the doctors, nurses, and Secret Service agents are now shedding tears at the scene before them. One of the doctors breaks out of her confused and tearful stupor and walks over to Stevonnie to manually check and confirm their lack of a pulse, and then with tears in her eyes, notes the time of death upon both Steven and Connie's charts: 2:53pm, May 17.

The silence is finally broken by the medical equipment being shut off and the soft scratching of the doctors' pens; many of the assembled Gems now fall to the floor in grief, mingled with shocked awe over the beauty of what they just witnessed, and begin to sob very loudly. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot huddle and cling to each other for dear life while crying their eyes out at one end of the tent, as do the three Diamonds and Spinel in their own corner, and Lars and the Off Colors in another.

Lars doesn't fail to notice how Lion, after taking one last mournful look over his shoulder at the corpse of Stevonnie, roars open a portal to who-knows-where and leaps through it; hopefully he'll do as Steven and Connie asked and still visit the Crystal Gems rather than becoming a loner once more. Volleyball and Nephrite, crying as well, awkwardly stand beside the Crystal Gems where they are huddled, until to their surprise, Amethyst shape-shifts her arms and grabs them to bring them into the group hug.

The descendants of Pumpkin huddle in a corner while whining sadly, and the assembled Watermelon Stevens and Cactus Steven look upon the scene with sorrow; when they return to Mask Island, they will build statues of Steven, Connie, and Stevonnie, which will stand proudly alongside the statue of Baby Melon. Steven and Connie's elderly children and other human relatives (except for those too young to fully comprehend the scene) look towards the corpse of Stevonnie with a few tears in their eyes but with smiles on their faces, knowing that they lived full, happy lives and left the world in a manner of their own choosing.

Jasper, never one for _so_ much touchy-feely stuff even after softening up over the last eight decades, allows Lapis to have a moment with her friends. She chooses to vent in her own way by taking care of a truly obnoxious _Earthling problem_ , finally dropping her Diamond Salute and haltingly exiting the tent through the flap at its entrance. She may have long ago learned to see and respect Steven as a friend rather than as a superior, but she can still perform one final _service_ for Her Diamond _as_ his friend by seeing to it that _others_ show him the respect he damn well deserves.

The assembled journalists, as well as the Gems and human Secret Service agents attempting to maintain order, go silent and back away a bit as she picks up speed and breaks a hole straight through the perimeter fence. Jasper turns her face upwards towards the clear blue afternoon sky and lets loose a deafening roar of anguish, rage, and grief as tears stream down her face freely. She kneels down on one knee and punches the ground, creating a small crater and localized earthquake with cracks spreading from its center and approaching the feet of the assembled crowd.

Jasper rises back to her feet, and turning towards the shocked and terrified crowd of human journalists, addresses them with all the venom that she can currently muster in her fragile state, which is still _quite a lot_ of venom: " _It's **over**!_ Now **_get lost_** before I **_make_** you!"

She may not _actually_ attack Earthlings anymore, but that doesn't mean she can't convincingly _threaten_ them. This terrifies the journalists to such an extent that they rapidly disperse, even as they jot down notes on Jasper's behavior (she couldn't care less what they think) and make calls to their bosses to inform them that the former President and First Gentleman have passed away.

Once all the journalists have dispersed, only the Gems and Secret Service agents—who know that Jasper won't actually hurt anyone—remain. Several of the assembled Gems look with sympathy upon Jasper, who collapses onto her haunches and heaves out choked sobs of pure agony with her face in her hands. To her surprise, she hears a rustling from the flap of the tent; a few seconds later, Lapis joins her, having left Peridot and Bismuth inside with the other Crystal Gems.

She sits down beside Jasper; they put their arms around each other's shoulders and lean upon one another for support; neither of them speaks a word as Jasper weeps loudly and Lapis silently lets the tears stream down her face. Out of respect for the couple's privacy, the assembled Gems and Secret Service agents, no longer needed for crowd control, begin to disperse as well.

As Jasper takes care of the chaos outside, Padparadscha stands inside the tent with rivers of tears streaming down her face; she raises her hand to her mouth and gasps before loudly saying: "Steven and Connie's love is... _it's going to take them away together._ And it will be _beautiful._ "

Everyone overhears her and nods, only to resume sobbing all the more. She collapses to the floor in grief, and Lars, Emerald, and the Off Colors bring her into their huddle.

By the next day, the entire nation, world, and universe join together in mourning. Hymns and tributes are written and sung by humans and Gems alike for the former President and for her husband, the Savior of the Universe. The human news media mostly talk about nothing else but the couple's accomplishments for the next few weeks. But to the news media's frustration, no one who was present inside the tent will disclose the details of how the couple passed on; in fact, no one will even grant them a single statement or interview.

Even the doctors and nurses who were present, despite promises of large under-the-table payments, refuse to disclose anything about the immensely beautiful, but very private, scene which they witnessed, although some of them choose to remain silent out of fear of possible retribution by Jasper rather than out of a sense of integrity.

So instead of reporting the truth, the news media speculates endlessly, creating baseless rumors about the couple's demise and why there was only one coffin, until they give up and move on to the next story upon realizing that they've wrung every bit of airtime that they could out of this one. Most Gems are thoroughly disgusted (Jasper especially feels disdain) by the human media's handling of the story, but they know it was inevitable.

The funeral is held the very next day after Stevonnie died, as Steven and Connie didn't wish to be embalmed and the grave marker and coffin don't take long for Bismuth to produce. Most of the Gems attending the funeral stand numb and outwardly cold as the coffin is lowered into the ground; after just twenty-four hours, they aren't yet able to process what has happened.

Although the press is banned from the event (and after the 'threat' by Jasper, none of them feel brave enough to try to defy that ban), the current United States President stands at a podium and gives a eulogy praising the late couple for their wonderful lives and accomplishments; but no eulogies are given by any of the Gems, as none of them are ready yet. Perhaps they will have something to say at memorial services in the coming years. Jasper and Nephrite hold the Diamond Salute once again until the last bit of earth is shoveled atop the grave and flattened down.

As per Steven's and Connie's wills, Stevonnie is buried in a single grave atop the Lighthouse Hill overlooking the Beach House and Crystal Temple, with a simple gray stone composed of nigh-indestructible material as the only grave-marker; that and the coffin were Bismuth's final gifts to the couple.

There is no monument at the grave, although statues and paintings, many housed within great monuments, are commissioned for display at various locations on Earth, Homeworld, and other planets. According to the ever-humble couple's wishes, there is nothing at the grave to indicate their great accomplishments during life. The gravestone simply reads as follows:

**Steven and Connie Maheswaran-Universe**

**Together, they were and always will be Stevonnie**

**Beloved by all, they left behind many who will never forget them**

**In the end, their love took them away together**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know, I'm TOTALLY sappy (kinda like Steven himself, haha), feel free to tell me how overly-sappy I am in the comments section.
> 
> For those of you who want to know about the "special and unique" connection that Steven, Jasper, and Lapis share as a trio: That's one of the big character arcs in my Jasper/Lapis-focused prequel-fic "Doing Something Better!"
> 
> For those who had their suspicions and may have been wondering about it: Yes, the title and premise of this story are references to and inspired by _"The Notebook."_ I was thinking about the ending of that movie while also thinking about the S.U. franchise, and was suddenly struck by the revelation that thanks to the nature of his powers and how he "ages," Steven's and Connie's love will indeed take them away together someday like what happened with Noah and Allie. But I decided that Connie doesn't get dementia as long as Steven kisses her on a regular basis (those healing powers do have some major perks, lol), so Steven and Connie go out surrounded by all their loved ones after getting to say their goodbyes.


	2. "Mourning," Chapter One: The Melons and Cactus Steven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The residents of Mask Island mourn Connie's and Steven's passing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _NOTES:_** So now we move into the "epilogue" of our story. But **_unlike most epilogues, this will actually be longer than the first part of the story_**! The first part was just Steven and Connie's deaths and their immediate aftermath. But this epilogue, titled "Mourning," will be about how the ones close to them process their grief. Obviously, grieving and mourning are longer and more complicated than saying final goodbyes, thus why the "epilogue" is actually longer than the main story. So without any further ado, let us begin, first with a short prologue.

_**Mourning ** _

Steven and Connie's human family has no major issues with their passing, with the exception of the very young children who don't exactly understand why their totally cool and fun great-grandparents are gone. However, the various Gems, Lars and Lion, and even many of the sentient plants find themselves at a loss as to how to move on. Now, let us see how everyone deals with their grief.

* * *

**The Melons and Cactus Steven **

It has been twelve days since Stevonnie left this world. On Mask Island, the Watermelon Stevens and Cactus Steven choose to mourn in the same way they did for the tragic death (at their own hands) of Baby Melon: By building monuments to those who have passed. By all working together, they've already completed the statues, just as everything in their civilization seems to always progress at an accelerated pace; by this time, Mask Island has already long ago developed into an advanced technological civilization rivaling humanity's own level.

Behind the statue of Baby Melon and towering at almost four times its height, there now stands a statue of Stevonnie in their prime (as they appeared when Steven and Connie were in their 20s), holding Steven's iconic shield in their left hand and holding Connie's sword in their right, poised for battle with a resolute look on their face. The plants to which Steven gave sentience will never forget how Steven and Connie were guardians, protectors of the Earth and cosmos, always ready and willing to fight to defend anyone in need once a diplomatic solution had failed.

To the left of Baby Melon's statue, standing at a bit under half the height of Stevonnie's statue, is a sculpture of Connie; she appears as she did at the age of 39, when she was elected for her first term as the American President. The statue depicts her standing tall and proud in a smart business suit, with a pen in one hand poised to place her signature upon a stone facsimile, held in her other hand, of the agreement she forged between the nation-state of Mask Island and the United Nations, granting the Melons and Cactus Steven official acceptance into said political body.

To the right of the statue of Baby Melon is a sculpture of Steven, larger than Connie's statue with the tall, broad, and muscular Quartz-like build he developed by adulthood, standing proudly wearing a casual suit. He appears as he did in his 30s when he was the official United States and U.N. Ambassador to Mask Island. The residents of Mask Island will forever be grateful to Steven and Connie for working within the political realm as diplomats to get Mask Island, the community of Steven's own botanical creations, recognized as one of Earth's nations. And so, they stand before the statues with outstretched arms and mourn the loss of three more of their heroes.


	3. "Mourning," Chapter Two: Nephrite and Volleyball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nephrite and Volleyball try to process what it means to live in a world without Steven

**Nephrite**

It's been ten days since Stevonnie passed away. In Little Homeworld, we find Nephrite sitting on a chair in front of the television in her home, contemplating what life means to her now. She will forever be grateful to Steven, _Her Diamond_ , for helping her as he did, and to the other Diamonds as well; even if they were the ones who hurt her in the first place, thanks to Steven they redeemed themselves and healed her. She doesn't care that thoughts of "Her Diamond" are frowned upon by nearly all Gems in Era 3; at least Jasper can understand, and Nephrite plans to speak with her about it once she's ready. She sits watching some of the more _tasteful_ news-coverage being aired as a tribute to Steven and Connie's lives; like other Gems, she avoids the coverage speculating on the manner of their demise like it's the plague.

As the reporter explains how Steven and Connie risked their lives to convince a trio of dictators to turn their lives around and heal those who they once hurt, tears start leaking from Nephrite's eye once again. At least the other Diamonds will always be around, and she can thank them (she already has) as many times as she likes for how they were willing to listen to Steven. But she still doesn't know how exactly to live in a world without _Her_ Diamond, and she's not sure if she ever will.

A part of her thinks she's being silly or unreasonable to grieve like this; after all, it's not like she was ever close friends with Steven once she was un-corrupted. Sure, she and Steven happily greeted each other and engaged in friendly banter when he and the other Diamonds healed her in Rose's Fountain; but during the years after that, she and Steven just never seemed to _click_. They never did grow to be truly close, not the way that she was with her former crew, or the way Steven was with his own close friends like Lars, Jasper, Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot. She and Steven simply never found common ground over which they could forge a bond.

But deep down, Nephrite knows that whether she and Steven were close friends _doesn't matter_. After all, he was her _hero_ , her _savior_ , _Her **Diamond** ,_ and whether or not she was truly close with him, she'll always miss him and remember how he helped her when no one else would. So it must be _normal_ , it must be _okay_ to mourn his passing. And so, as the reporter on the screen continues to recount Steven's heroic accomplishments, she weeps.

* * *

**Volleyball**

It's been three days since Steven and Connie's passing. Volleyball sits on a chair in her house in Little Homeworld, feeling sorry for the people she's close to. Volleyball herself, while saddened by Steven and Connie's deaths (especially having witnessed the beautiful way in which their love took them away together as Stevonnie), doesn't feel any especially deep level of grief stemming from the events. Sure, she did cry a bit, as it was quite sad for the heroes of the entire cosmos to pass away. But it's not like she was ever a very close friend of theirs, and it's not like she owes Steven a life-debt as Nephrite believes she does.

Nevertheless, there's one thing that greatly saddens Volleyball: Her beloved sister, Pearl of the Crystal Gems, is hurting so much in her grief that she's stayed locked in her room for the three days since returning home (with the exception of briefly going out to the hill for the funeral), refusing to see or speak to _anyone_. Pearl promised Steven and Connie that she would _try_ to be strong; but clearly, she's failing in her attempts to do so. Volleyball can only _hope_ that soon, Pearl will open up to her, Bismuth, and the other Crystal Gems, and allow them to help her just as Pearl has helped Volleyball heal over the years.


	4. "Mourning," Chapter Three: Lars, Emerald, and the Off Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars needs Emerald's help in order to work through his grief, and the subject of mortality causes him to address an issue with her and the Off Colors that they've long been avoiding.

**Lars, Emerald, and the Off Colors **

It's been two weeks since Stevonnie's death. In space onboard the Sun Incinerator, we find Lars, Emerald, and the Off Colors; just a few hours earlier, they left Earth to once again explore the cosmos. Currently, they're seeking out the oldest ruins and remnants of Gem civilization that they can find; they hope to find evidence of what happened back when the Diamonds were the only Gems in existence. Yellow's mentioning of an "Era Zero," of being "born," and of being _billions_ of years old piqued Lars' interest greatly; being an explorer and adventurer at heart, the idea of discovering the meaning behind her cryptic hints truly excites him. He doesn't mind that the Diamonds always refused to explain their origins to anyone, not even to Steven; he'd rather put in the work to discover the answers on his own.

In spite of their current mission of exploration and discovery, the mood on the ship is somber and mournful. Occasionally, Lars or one of the Off Colors will spontaneously break into tears; no one comments on these episodes or asks about them, as everyone feels the same way. Emerald, despite how she herself was never close with Steven or Connie, feels for Lars and his best friends, and tries her best to support them during this time. She remembers very clearly how eleven days ago, three days after Steven and Connie passed, Lars opened up to her about his feelings on the matter once he got past the earliest stages of his grief:

Lars, sitting beside Emerald on a sofa while the Off Colors were out spending time with Amethyst and Garnet, said: "Emerald, how. . .how am I supposed to live in a universe without Steven and Connie?" Tears began to trickle from his eyes once again; Emerald reached out and grasped his hand in hers, sitting silently as he continued.

"I mean, look, we both know I'm not actually _immortal_. I _do_ age, just _really slowly_. That one medical researcher I went to told me that based on my heart rate, I might live for another 800 to 1500 years or so, and that Lion probably has 50 to 250 years left. Someday, you're gonna have to go through what the Crystal Gems are going through with Steven; actually, I guess what you'll go through will be more like what Spinel is feeling, huh? I'm sorry for that, Emerald."

Emerald replied, "it's okay Lars. We've been over this already, and I had to accept your mortality when we fell in love. Please, go on. Let it all out. You know you can tell me anything."

Lars continued: "It's just... well... I may live for a thousand years or whatever, but my _mind_ is still _human_ , ya know? I totally get why Lion was always such a loner; he probably couldn't bear to be around the rest of his pride once they all started dying while he lived on. I already had to watch my parents die of old age when I still looked like I was in my late teens! I'd already been growing apart from them anyway, but I drifted away from Sadie, Jenny, Buck, Sour Cream, and Ronaldo _on purpose_ so that I wouldn't be hurt when they died; yeah I was there at their funerals, but it wasn't as hard as I expected since we hadn't had much contact."  
  
He sighed before continuing. "You know this is the real reason why I like to be away from Earth; being around humans with their short lives, it fucking kills me, _dammit!_ I can't _stand_ being with humans anymore, _I'd rather be with Gems who live forever,_ but that just means _**you'll**_ all be hurt when _I_ die. And don't give me that **_bullshit_** about how you've 'accepted' it or whatever, 'cause I _know_ it's gonna tear you up inside."

Emerald looked a bit downcast at this; he'd never told her before that he could see right through her and the Off Colors' white lies, although Padparadscha, with her ability to see all the details in any situation (albeit retroactively) likely already knew. Lars took a deep, wavering breath before continuing.

"But no matter _how_ much I wanted to _avoid_ getting close with humans, with Connie, I... I never really had a fucking choice, did I? She was so cool and badass, she was Steven's soulmate, and together with him they were Stevonnie, the coolest person _ever_!" Emerald nods solemnly in agreement as Lars chokes up a bit.

"She always kept visiting us with Steven through my hair, so even if I _wanted_ to, I couldn't just _not_ be friends with her, ya know? But the thing is, I _didn't_ want to avoid being her friend, anyway! You know that as the years went by, I got as close with her as I was with Steven; she became like the little sister I never had. I told her that once, and I was totally _honored_ when she told me that I was like a big brother to her."

Emerald gripped his hand a bit harder as he continued: "Sure, I _**knew**_ that I would have to deal with losing Connie someday; she was _human_ , that shit was _inevitable_. But that doesn't make it hurt any less to lose the woman who was like a sister to me! I know it's terrible, but I always kinda... secretly hoped that she would die in an accident someday, maybe get assassinated while she was a politician, so Steven would have to _revive her and turn her pink like me._ Ugh, that's such a _selfish_ thought, I'm the _**worst**_ aren't I?"

He looked towards Emerald with grief and guilt written all over his face, and she responded: "Lars, it may be a _bit_ selfish, but such a thought is completely understandable. You wished you could have more time with someone who was like family to you. I honestly always _suspected_ you had such thoughts, and I never thought any less of you for it. We both know you're a _great_ person, a _**hero**_ in fact; you saved all the Off Colors more times than they can even count, and you're _**my**_ hero, the guy who taught me what it means to be a good person and how to finally be happy. _Don't_ start questioning yourself now."

Lars brought her into a brief, tight embrace before separating and continuing to hold her hand as he spoke once more: "Th... thanks Emerald. I still feel kinda guilty, but you just helped me feel a _little_ bit better. I'm glad I finally got that off my chest." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"So yeah, I mean, losing Connie, it absolutely sucks the big one, I can't _stand_ it. But losing _**Steven**_ , that's, it's... ugggh, it's even **_worse_** , ya know? Like I told him at... the end... I owe him _**everything**_. You say I'm a _hero_ or whatever, that I'm a good person and taught you how to be good too; well, we both know _that's all thanks to Steven_! _**He**_ was the one who taught me how to stop being a selfish jerk. _**He**_ was the one who taught me how to be brave, how to be heroic and put others before myself like he always did. And _**he**_ was the one who... who _brought me back_ , by... by crying for me when I died, by _caring_ as much as he did. You say I'm _your_ hero, but _Steven_ was _**my**_ hero. And he was also one of my very best friends."

Lars paused a bit once again before continuing: "I never told anyone this before but... I _knew_ what would happen to Steven ever since almost eighty years ago." Emerald looked visibly shocked at this revelation; she knows that would've been before Steven's "prime" in his mid-twenties, well before anyone noticed how Steven continued to age into his 30s and 40s.

Lars continued: "You know from the stuff Amethyst and Pearl said there at the end that I'm not the only one he told about it that long ago; I wasn't even the _first_. He told all his closest _Gem_ friends and family about it even before he told me, all the way back when he and Connie first started dating, so they'd have as much time as possible to come to terms with it. He told _me_ about it that time he and Connie visited us when he was nineteen and they'd just made their engagement-promise, when they came to tell us about it and show off the promise-rings. Remember when they said they had something to tell me in private, and pulled me aside for it?" Emerald nodded silently.

"Well, he and Connie told me then about how his aging worked. About how it was actually just his shape-shifting, that his 'age' was really just how old, or mature or whatever, he _felt_ like he was, and that since he was half-human, he could still die from old age. He and Connie, they... they both knew even back then what it meant that he was gonna settle down to live with her, that he was basically _dooming_ himself to a mortal life. Connie had already _accepted_ it, and Steven was actually **_happy_** about it. He saw it as a _blessing_ , he was happy that he wouldn't have to live on forever in a world where his soulmate would be gone... like what'll happen to **_you_** someday."

At that remark, Emerald looked downcast again. She knew she no longer needed to hide how she felt about Lars' mortality, as that cat was now out of the bag. Lars continued without stopping:

"Steven and Connie, I think they... they knew _**exactly**_ how things would happen in the end. Like, I think they _**planned**_ it. How they would die at the same time, how they would fuse into Stevonnie so they could die as one being... they knew and planned for that shit _all along_ , from when they were only **_teenagers_**. You know how Connie lasted way longer in the end than the doctors thought she would, how there was _somehow enough time_ for _everyone_ to say everything that needed to be said?"

Emerald nodded, tearing up upon realizing the beauty of the love that Steven and Connie shared and the scene that she had witnessed.

Lars again continued: "You know how Steven _held her hand_ the _whole_ time, and how she **_instantly_** started dying when he let go? Emerald, I'm **_positive_** that he spat on his hand before grabbing hers, that he used his healing-powers to make sure she would stick around long enough for everybody to be all wordy and dramatic and shit. Those two, they _**planned**_ for _**everything**_ , both for themselves **_and_** for the people who... who loved them. Isn't that absolutely _nuts_? Isn't that absolutely _**beautiful**_ **?** "

Emerald, with tears now flowing freely from her eyes as well, could only nod in agreement. She realized more than ever that she'd had the _privilege_ , the great _honor_ , of witnessing something beautiful beyond measure.

Lars, nearly done now, said: "Yeah, so I mean, those two, they... they really were the _best_. When I say 'the best,' I mean, they were literally **_the best people ever_** , and their _love_ , it was... **_it_** was the best too. I already miss them **_so_** much, Emerald. It feels like my stupidly slowly beating heart is _tearing right in half_. Am I gonna be _stuck_ like this, missing them and feeling pissed and sad about it, for the next however many **_centuries_**? _UGH_ , this totally _**sucks**_ , it sucks **_SO_** much! Emerald, I... what should I **_do_**... _how the **fuck** can I ever **move on**_?"

Before Emerald could try to interject, Lars continued with one final thought, regressing into the kind of self-loathing he often felt as a teenager:

"Emerald, can you... can you ever **_forgive_** me?" At this, Emerald looked shocked, as she had no idea what he meant; Lars, seeing her confusion, forged on ahead, pleading in a choked voice:

"Can you forgive me for... for _being there_... for _being the guy you fell in love with_? This shit, losing people I love, it's _hard **enough**_ as it is and they weren't even my soulmates or anything, and _I'm not even immortal_ , just really long-lived! You, when I die, you'll be around _**forever**_ , you'll... you'll. _**Agh**_ , Emerald, I'm _**sorry**_ , please, forgi-"

Before he could continue, Emerald clapped her free hand over his mouth; when it was clear he wouldn't speak, she dropped her hand and spoke.

"Lars, please, never, _**ever**_ say that again. So maybe it's true, maybe I and the Off Colors have been trying to spare your feelings by _lying_ about accepting your mortality; maybe we should have been honest with you from the start. When they come back, I'm going to talk with them about it. But Lars, you say that Steven was the one who taught you how to be a good person, right?"

Lars nodded tearfully, and Emerald continued while squeezing his hand:

"Well _you know **damn well**_ that Steven taught you, taught _everyone_ , that _no one should **ever** feel ashamed of **who** or **what** they are_! Don't you **_dare_** feel guilty about your physiology being the way it is, and don't even _**THINK**_ about feeling guilty for being the man I fell in love with! Yeah, I know it's going to _hurt_ when you die, it's going to feel like a piece of me will be _ripped out_ and forever lost."

She takes a breath before continuing: "But _in spite_ of that, if I could go back and do things over again, **_I wouldn't change a single damn thing_**. I guess I never did tell you exactly what the whole sequence of events seemed like from _**my**_ point of view, did I? Well let me tell you _**now**_. First I was your _enemy_ , and despite my hatred for you I came to _respect_ you as a brilliant, courageous leader and tactician; eventually, that respect came to border on _admiration_. When we finally had our face-to-face showdown, you _tried_ to work things out with _words_ , but I refused to listen, so **_just like your hero Steven did_** when diplomacy failed, you _fought_ me for the sake of what you believed in, and you _thrashed_ me with your Pink powers just like he would!"

Taking another pause and deep breath, Emerald continued: "I wouldn't change that part either, because it only caused my admiration for you to grow. After you _poofed_ me, I _expected_ to be **_shattered;_** after all, that's what **_I_** would have done to an enemy. Little did I realize how compassionate, kind, and forgiving you and the Off Colors are. When I regenerated, you had already disbanded the command structure and fleet I'd been maintaining in defiance of the new order of Era 3; I figured you would _at least_ imprison or _punish_ me in some way, but instead you **_forgave_** me for everything and just... **_talked things out_** with me."

"Thanks to you, I finally came to understand the value of the new ideals of Era 3, of the great work that Steven did by disbanding the Empire, and I came to understand what it meant to be a **_good person_** , to **_care_** for other _**people**_ rather than just for _objects_ like our ship. **_You changed me for the better_** , and it seems only **_natural_** that I fell in love with you; I still feel like _the luckiest woman in the universe_ because you actually _returned_ my feelings."

With tears now streaming down her face in rivers, speaking loudly in a somewhat choked voice, Emerald forced herself to finish.

"So it ** _doesn't matter here and now_** that loving you will _**someday**_ cause me pain. As I said, I wouldn't want to have things any other way! It seems like your grief over losing your dear friends, one your 'sister' and the other your hero, has caused you to begin _**questioning**_ yourself and your own mortality. But please Lars, **_please_** don't beat yourself up like that! I will _**never**_ hold it against you that you're mortal while I'm ageless. You, Lars Barriga, will **_always_** be the person I care for and respect the most in this entire universe; you will **_always_** be my hero, the man who changed me, the man who I love with all my heart. We shouldn't have to hide anything from each other. _**I truly love you**_ Lars, and I am _**here for you**_ now and forever."

With tears still streaming from his eyes, Lars looked upon Emerald with shock, awe, respect, and adoration, his jaw hanging slack for a moment, before suddenly pulling her into a tight, desperate embrace and burying his head in her chest. Heaving out choked sobs of pure agony, he spoke in a muffled voice into her blouse, practically screaming: "Emerald, I... I just... _**I miss them so much!**_ I don't want them to be gone from my life, and I'm _**glad**_ I'll get to **_join_** them someday; but I don't want to ever have to... have to leave _**you**_ either! Emerald, _I **love** you, and I loved **them** ,_ and I just, it's all _**too much**_ , and I... I..."

Lars was unable to speak further as he broke down completely in his lover's arms. Tears streaming from her own eyes, but staying strong and maintaining her composure for Lars' sake, Emerald stroked his hair and back soothingly, hugging him back and kissing the top of his head as she said: "Shhhh, it's _okay_ Lars, just let it all out. I'm here for you, and I love you." She held him like that until he eventually cried himself to sleep, and she gently laid him down across the sofa with his head in her lap, peering down at his face with a sympathetic expression.

When the Off Colors returned to the house with the Crystal Gems, she lifted her index finger to her mouth when they entered the room to signal they should be quiet and let Lars rest; gently sliding out from underneath Lars and placing a pillow under his head, Emerald allowed Amethyst and Garnet to morosely stagger off to their rooms to continue in their own mourning, before leading the Off Colors out of the living room and saying, "there's something we need to discuss and be honest about with Lars, and it's been a very long time coming."

Cutting to eleven days later, in the present again onboard the Sun Incinerator, no one is crying again at the moment. Lars notices that his crew have been strangely silent, even considering the current circumstances. Suddenly, Emerald sighs and stands up, saying "guys, I think now is as good a time as any to get it over with."

The rest of the Off Colors stand as well (with Padparadcha being helped to her feet by Emerald), and walk over to stand in front of Lars where he's seated in the Captain's chair. He now realizes exactly what's going on. He's finally had this discussion with Emerald, but now it's time to talk with his friends, his crew, his _family_.

Surprisingly, it's Rhodonite who speaks on the others' behalf, wringing her hands and as nervous as always: "So uh, Captain Lars, we uh... we're all still pretty torn up about what happened... just like you are. But I... w-we... uh... we need to talk about... about your mortality. We... we're really sorry we spent so long being dishonest with you about it. But e-even if we... l-lied... about being able to _accept_ it, _none_ of us hold it _against_ you that your body works the way it does. Would... would it be okay if we talked about it? Or should we wait?"

Padparadscha pipes up, "we are about to bring up a very sensitive and difficult subject with Captain Lars during this time of mourning."

Sighing sadly, but surprisingly with a slight smile now upon his face, Lars replies: "It's okay guys, I'm not mad that you lied to spare my feelings. And we can talk about this now. You guys aren't _just_ my _crew_ , you're my _**family**_. You can _always_ be honest with me. So what do you wanna say?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's confirmed as canon that Lars and Lion are, in fact, not immortal; Rebecca Sugar stated in an episode of the Steven Universe Podcast that Lars and Lion do age, but very slowly in proportion to their slowed down heart rates.


	5. "Mourning," Chapter Four: Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lion deals with his grief in a very unhealthy way while contemplating the past and his history with Rose, Steven, and Connie; in the end, he makes a resolution to eventually approach things more healthily.

**Lion**

We now cut to a tropical island, untouched by human hands, in the South Pacific, an island which happens to be inhabited by a great many Gem-introduced but non-Gem crystal-lifeforms which are not native to Earth, such as Crystal Basilisks and Crystal Shrimp. For centuries now, Lion has tracked down, killed, and devoured all such creatures, as he knows by instinct (even if Rose hadn't explained it to him) that they're invasive species which interfere with Earth's native ecosystem; no matter what, he'll eradicate them all, everywhere they exist, in order to protect his planet.

He's absolutely determined, and nothing if not stubborn; he _**will**_ manage to complete _his **mission**_ from Rose before he leaves this world in about 200 years (with his heightened animal instincts, he has a better feel for his remaining time than any mere human medical researcher has). In fact, he'll have to make sure to complete the mission before declining too much from old age, so he probably has about 80 to 120 years left as his deadline.

For the last several days (Lion hasn't exactly been keeping track of time since Stevonnie passed), he's been far more _harsh_ than usual in his methods. Typically he's dispassionate and cold, showing no hostility or malice in his extermination of Gem-introduced species; it's not like he actually _hates_ them after all, as he knows it isn't their choice to be what they are. They simply need to be eliminated in order to preserve the natural order of the planet.

But right now, he doesn't give a damn about any of that. He needs to **_vent_**. So he roars, smashes, and tears through the island, wreaking havoc upon all crystal-animals unlucky enough to be his current targets. In stark contrast to his usual habits, he doesn't even bother eating most of them; he just leaves their carcasses where they lie battered and broken, moving on to find more such creatures upon which he can take out his rage and grief.

He knows that Rose, Steven, and Connie would disapprove of how he's acting right now. He's not just coldly destroying these creatures in order to protect Earth's biosphere; he's being outright cruel. He even actually _tortures_ some of them, stalking them over time, inducing fear and terror before eventually pinning and slowly dismembering them. He knows that if there's an afterlife from which Rose, Steven, and Connie are watching him, they're probably turning their faces away in disgust and disapproval.

But he just _can't help himself_. Rose, Steven, and Connie, _**especially** Connie_ (for some reason he grew attached to her the most of all), they were his **_entire world_**. As he continues to torture and slaughter the innocent but invasive crystal-animals, he thinks back upon his long past.

Back in the nineteenth century, he got to spend some of the happiest days of his life with Rose when he was the leader of his pride during his late juvenile and young adult years. His pride appreciated him, Rose was ever so nice, and he even got to meet some interesting humans like Buddy Buddwick. Then came the fateful day, when he was five years old, when a pair of three year old late juvenile males seeking a pride of their own invaded his territory while Rose was away with her own pride, the "Crystal Gems."

As the leader, he took it upon himself to fight them one-on-two. He earned a hard-fought victory and killed the two rival males, but was nevertheless mortally wounded himself. Rose happened to return just in time to witness him expire from blood loss, but a few moments too late to heal him. But he died happily, with the final thought _"I protected my family."_

Who in their wildest dreams would have thought that Rose could not only heal injuries, but could even revive the recently deceased if their death was unnatural and their body mostly intact? Astonished upon his reawakening, he didn't mind that he'd turned pink (thanks to Rose it was his favorite color), and was happy that he seemed to be stronger; he also didn't seem to _require_ nourishment but could still _enjoy_ the pleasure of eating. Upon discovering his "roars," the full magnitude of his enhanced strength and durability, and his other incredible powers, he became even happier, as it meant he could always protect his precious family.

But within a few years, he realized that the _blessing_ Rose bestowed upon him was also a _curse_. Not that he was ever _the least bit ungrateful_ to Rose; thanks to her, he got to spend more time with his precious pride and with her, and he eventually got to meet her incredible half-human son and Connie.

Nevertheless, he came to curse his existence as the rest of his pride aged and died around him while he himself aged ever so slowly. As the years went on, he remained the uncontested leader of his pride, until almost twenty years later, the originals were all gone and the group consisted of the descendants of his original pride, some of them the descendants of his own cubs who were conceived before his resurrection apparently rendered him sterile (yet another cursed aspect of his new existence).

In his grief over losing his original family, he eventually left one day with Rose during one of her visits, choosing to follow the Sand Castle wherever it went; he couldn't stand to be around his own species anymore, and so he passed the role of leadership on to his eldest grandson and told the pride not to follow.

As the decades wore on, he developed a human-level intellect far greater than that of any mere animal. He's unsure whether that's a side-effect of his resurrection by Rose, or whether it's due to him gaining far more experience and memories than other lions. He suspects that it's a combination of the two, as he knows that an animal like himself shouldn't have the brain-capacity to understand and be able to think in human language like he can no matter how much experience they accumulate. He wonders if in time, Lars will come to exhibit a superhuman intellect just as he himself has developed a "superlion" intellect.

Lion was so incredibly **_lonely_** during those decades; the only being with which he ever had **_any_** meaningful interaction was Rose during her visits. Recognizing his boredom and loneliness, she pitied him; and so she tasked him with portaling all over the world to track down and exterminate all the invasive gem-introduced species, a mission that was both mentally and physically stimulating due to his natural hunting instincts as a carnivore. She explained to him that crystal-animals were the fauna native to "Homeworld" other than Gems themselves, and that Gems introduce them to planets during colonization in order to more closely replicate the conditions on Homeworld.

She told him, however, to always find and return to the Sand Castle, as the Desert Glass may one day grow "aimless," and she needed someone to watch over it as she spent most of her time with her own pride rather than visiting him. Not to mention that she needed a way to always find him since his mane now served as her secret "storage space," a role which he didn't mind one bit; it was the least he could do in return after she bestowed the blessing of life upon him, after she cared enough to shed tears for him upon his death.

One day she came to visit him with her belly swollen; he recognized that as pregnancy, but was quite confused as he knew her "body" was non-organic and an illusion, merely a hologram projected from her gemstone. She explained to him that she'd chosen to have a half-human/half-Gem child with "Greg," a human man she had droned on about during previous visits. Unfortunately, as a Gem she couldn't have a child without dying so the child could inherit her gemstone.

_It was then that she told him the truth about herself, the reason why she had godlike powers such as resurrecting the dead:_

She was the mighty Pink Diamond, one of the former leaders of Homeworld and "The Empire," who was nonetheless mentally and emotionally abused by her elder sisters, the other Diamonds. Despite apparently being the mightiest of them when her emotion-driven powers reached their peak, she simply couldn't find it in herself to intentionally fight and harm her own family, although _long ago_ she did apparently have a bad habit of _unintentionally_ harming others during "tantrums" with her "screams," a power similar to (and obviously related to) Lion's roars.

She told him the story of how she eventually chose to lead a rebellion and live a new life with a new identity on Earth, but how that was a thoughtless mistake. She believed thanks to how they abused her in the past that her "death" would only inspire fear rather than grief in her sisters and would end the war; but she was a fool, and after she faked her own "shattering" at the hands of "Rose Quartz," her sisters' retaliation resulted in the "corruption" of most Gems on Earth. The Gem War only "ended" because the Diamonds thought they eradicated the rebellion; if Homeworld ever _discovered_ that some of the Crystal Gems _lived on_ , they would _return_.

She then told him: "My dear Lion, you are such a sweet, good boy. I need you to listen to me now, and listen closely. Having a child may turn out to be a selfish and stupid choice like _so many_ of the choices I've made, but it's one that I'm making out of love for Greg and my love for life on Earth. As strange as it may sound, I wish to not only give _birth_ but also to _die_ in order to finally fully understand organic lifeforms."

"Above all, I wish to bring something _new_ into this world, a _human being_ who can grow and change over time but who will have a _gemstone_ at their core. It's so _exciting_ , Lion; never before has there been a _Gem_ with an _organic body_ that can _grow_ and _change_ , and never before has there been an _organic being_ with a _gemstone_. But nevertheless... my child, Steven or Nora, they will _possibly_ inherit some or all of the consequences of my poorly thought-out actions. And they will almost _certainly_ inherit at least some of my emotion-driven powers which proved so very _difficult_ to properly _control_."

"Someday, whether it be a few years or a few decades from now, _my child will come to this place_ ; perhaps it will be with the Crystal Gems because the Desert Glass will grow aimless as seems likely to happen, or perhaps it will be to seek answers, power, or a means of transportation; those pink hills you've seen at my 'Landfill' near here are actually my warship from my time as Pink Diamond. I have a feeling that my son or daughter may have need of that ship someday if... if my... _sisters_ ever learn of Garnet's, Amethyst's, Pearl's, and my child's existence."

"Lion, I know that I'm once again being selfish, but may I please ask one final thing of you?" Lion nodded his head in the affirmative.

"Thank you, Lion. No matter how much you travel the world protecting Earth's ecosystem from invasive species, I need you to frequently return to check up on the Sandcastle and my Landfill. When Steven or Nora arrives, I need you to _follow_ them and _help_ them from then on."

A few tears gathered in Rose's eyes, and they began to slide down her cheeks as she continued: " _Thousands_ of years have passed with no sign of Homeworld. So I **_want_** to believe that things will stay this way forever, that my _terrifying_ sisters will **_never_** learn the truth and that Homeworld won't return to Earth... but I... I have a _**feeling**_ deep within my gut, an _**instinct**_ which tells me, that _something_ will happen during my child's lifetime and that _**they**_ will have to... to _**pay**_ for _**my**_ mistakes."

She began to cry harder as she said: "I-if only I'd _**tried harder**_ to talk to Blue, Yellow, and White, if only I'd had the **_courage_** to _**fight**_ them, perhaps I could have _**changed their minds**_ after physically subduing them. I... I r-really am a _**selfish fool**_ to the very end; perhaps deep down, dying to become half of my child is just a new way for me to _**flee**_ from my responsibilities, but it's... it's t-too late now to take back this decision. Lion, my... m-my instincts tell me that my sisters _**aren't done**_ with this planet, that Nora or Steven will need **_all the help they can get_** , that they will face _**terrible**_ danger and hardship. Can you _**please**_ promise me you will follow them and help them, Lion?"

Lion solemnly nodded his head. Rose wiped the tears from her face and collected herself before she once again spoke:

"Thank you so much, Lion. You really are a good boy. I'm so very sorry to have to leave you like this. Like I said, it's too late now to take this back; my pregnancy has come to full term, and tomorrow I will leave this universe forever. I'm sorry that I... _broke down_ like that just now, I just... those things I told you, these _doubts_ that I'm having, I'm too much of a _coward_ to express them to Garnet, Amethyst, or even Pearl, and I _certainly_ can't tell _Greg_ that I'm having doubts about my decision, or that I know deep down that my child will live a difficult life as a consequence of my thoughtless, selfish choices."

She sighed before continuing: "It's just like when I moved Bismuth's bubble to the inside of your mane; I'm _dumping_ all my feelings on _you_ because I'm too cowardly to be honest with the _others_ , and because I know you can't _tell_ anyone about all my horrible secrets. I'm sorry for... _using_ you like that, Lion. I suppose that I just needed to vent to _someone_ before... before the _end_."

Lion stepped forward and nuzzled Rose, rubbing his face and mane against her bulging stomach and her gemstone in an obvious attempt to comfort her and tell her that he's okay with her "dumping" everything on him.

Rose bent down and wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug, a few tears gathering in her eyes once again as she said: "Oh Lion, you... you really are a kind soul. My dear, sweet Lion, I will miss you very much. Thank you for all your hard work, and I love you."

He nuzzled her face and neck, tickling her and making her giggle a bit; she playfully ruffled his mane as he affectionately growled and huffed before licking her face for a few seconds. This caused her to giggle some more, and she said between giggles, "c-come on Lion, s-stop."

He stopped licking and nuzzling her and allowed her to simply hug him as she spoke: "Oh Lion, thank you for cheering me up. I know what you're trying to say, and you're right: Whatever hardships may come, my child and my comrades will persevere, because _there is always hope_. You're right Lion, this decision _isn't_ a mistake: I will be bringing something _new_ into this world, something _incredible_ , a _human being_ with a _gem_ who will _learn_ and _change_ and _grow_. Nora or Steven will _overcome_ whatever trials and tribulations they may face, and they can _learn_ to be _better_ than their selfish fool of a mother. My instincts, they're now telling me something else, something more hopeful: My child will _surpass_ me in every way that matters."

She let go of Lion and stood up straight, her face settling into a serious expression as she gazed down at him and spoke one final time: "Again, thank you Lion, and I love you. Please protect the Earth and my child. Goodbye." She then took off towards the nearest Warp Pad and left him forever.

Nearly fourteen years later, things turned out _exactly_ as Rose, as _Pink Diamond_ , had told him they would. The Desert Glass indeed grew aimless, so Lion stopped traveling and _waited_. Sure enough, within a few days, the Crystal Gems ( _"so that's what the three of them look like,"_ he thought) showed up with _**Steven**_ , Rose/Pink's _son_ , in order to put a stop to the Desert Glass. Lion honored Rose's final request; he followed Steven and helped him.

Sure, Lion could sometimes be a bit of a stubborn jerk and might occasionally vomit the remains of a Crystal Basilisk onto Steven's bed, but he's a _cat_ after all, not a _saint_ ; and besides, he couldn't be soft on Steven, he had to toughen him up. Like Rose, Lion had instincts which told him that terrible danger was just over the horizon. Sure enough, Homeworld would soon be _coming_ , something called "the Cluster" was _already there_ , and Steven had to be _strong_ , had to be _ready_.

Lion remembered all to well what Rose/Pink told him about her elder sisters; he knew that they were inconceivably powerful, _godlike_ even, and he knew how terrible their _wrath_ could be. She told him that they were evil shatterers who destabilized Gems' forms and controlled their emotions and even their minds, and that they _could not be reasoned with_ , at least not without first being _**defeated**_ in combat.

Lion had no idea whether Steven, being half-human, could ever hope to match his aunts in sheer might and combat-prowess. Sure, his mother was apparently the mightiest Diamond due to her powers being able to grow with her emotions; but nonetheless, Steven might be _limited_ by his human side. Moreover, even if he _could_ match her power, he was even more _gentle_ , even more of a _pacifist_ than Rose/Pink. Upon Steven having his "issues" at 16 years old, Lion came to see that he indeed had the same _limitless_ potential as his mother; but _that didn't help Steven one bit when he was still only 13 to 14._

When Steven was 14 and the Cluster and Homeworld were at his doorstep, Lion knew he would need strong allies. But _beyond_ just helping and protecting Steven as per _Rose's request_ , Lion _**came to care a great deal for Steven himself**_ as a person; he was so _kind_ and so _strong_ of heart, and Lion suspected that Steven far surpassed his mother in that regard. Also, the boy gave _**great**_ belly-rubs and fed him plenty of yummy treats. After a certain point, Lion's devotion to Steven was for the boy's own sake and he would have continued to help Steven even if it weren't for Rose's final request.

Lion's suspicion that Steven surpassed Rose in compassion and strength (just as Rose believed he would) proved to be spot-on when the boy somehow worked out a _diplomatic_ solution with the Diamonds and converted them to the side of good, despite how Rose/Pink claimed such a thing to be _impossible_ without physically subduing her "terrible" sisters first. Perhaps she'd simply never had the courage to speak _completely **honestly**_ with them; clearly that was part of what she meant when she told Lion that she was "selfish and stupid" as well as "cowardly."

Anyway, Lion _expected_ Steven. _What he_ ** _never_** _expected was_ ** _Connie._** She was a mere _human_ , a _fully-organic Earthling_ like himself; she was clearly in love with Steven, who likewise obviously reciprocated her feelings. Lion knew that Connie was very strong, very powerful, very intelligent, and very skilled for _any_ human, let alone for a _juvenile_ human; the remarkable girl was able to somehow learn swordsmanship from Pearl, a Gem, and surpassed her teacher's greatest expectations.

But Lion also knew that she wasn't like Steven who had the constitution of a tank (and could regenerate from serious injuries instantly, although Lion realized that long before Steven did), and she certainly was nothing like the Crystal Gems who would simply "poof" if they took too much punishment unless their gemstones themselves were damaged.

 _Connie wasn't even like Lion himself_ , a mortal Earthling who'd been _modified_ to have a superpowered constitution and long lifespan. She was as he once was during his early life; a very strong and capable member of her species, and yet still just **_a fragile sack of blood and organs_** that could easily be **_ruptured_** , could easily be **_broken_** , a lesson which Lion learned the hard way when fighting against that pair of rival males on that fateful day so many years ago.

Sure, Steven turned out to have healing powers and even proved capable of resurrecting the recently deceased as his mother could. Lion knew that if Connie was killed and resurrected, her life would be _hard_ ; she'd be rendered sterile just like Lion was, and she'd outlive all the humans she knew just as he outlived his pride. But at least she'd be _alive_ , and she'd still have Steven and the Crystal Gems. But Lion couldn't help _worrying_ about a _far worse_ possibility than that; what if Connie was broken _**beyond**_ repair? She was extremely intelligent, but seemed to _vastly underestimate_ the constant danger to which she was exposed.

Lion knew that Connie's choice to battle as a mere human against _tremendously superhuman_ entities on a regular basis using nothing but her incredible skill and Rose's special Gem-durability-bypassing sword was as foolhardy and reckless a decision as anyone could ever make; it frankly made his arrogant and prideful decision to fight a pair of rivals one-on-two seem positively brilliant by comparison.

Lion loved and respected Steven, but at the age of 14 Steven was still a starry-eyed and optimistic boy who preferred to live in denial of the more _brutal_ aspects of reality; Steven insisted that as long as he was the Shield to her Sword, the Biscuit to her Strawberry, then Connie would be okay. But Lion wasn't _naïve_ like Steven, and knew not to take such things _for granted_ ; as a member of a territorial species of carnivores among whom _survival of the fittest_ was the _only_ law, Lion knew that Connie's fights against Gems could _easily_ result in her being _torn in half_ , fully _dismembered_ , or even ending up as _**nothing more than a bloody pulp**_ smeared and strewn across the ground. Lion was fairly certain that such a gruesome death would be well beyond Steven's ability to fix.

As he torments and kills the hapless crystal-creatures everywhere he can find them on the island, Lion continues to ponder the past. When he thinks about it, Lion understands _exactly_ why he grew _so especially attached_ to Connie. When she was young, _she reminded him so much of **himself**_ before his death: She was strong, prideful, brave, quick-witted, extremely skilled, and **_far too reckless._**

Beyond all that, _she was ever so kind_ to him and to everyone else, and so _**brutally honest**_ with people when they needed to be _put in their place_. Unlike Steven (with the exception of his period of "issues"), she could easily turn "mean" when the situation required it as a means for everyone to get their act together and be good people. As a _**cat**_ , Lion _**respected**_ that.

Despite all the danger she rushed headlong into, despite being a mere human fighting against vastly superpowered enemies, thanks to her wits, skill, and willingness to allow others to aid her (in this way, she was unlike his young, reckless self who refused aid in a fight against two opponents), she managed to survive everything. Sure, as what humans call a "child-soldier," she, like Steven, ended up suffering through a period of issues, and apparently was a sufferer of "post-traumatic stress." But she was so strong and brave, and in the end she came out the other side _even stronger_ , and far _wiser_ , than before, becoming by all accounts the greatest leader that humanity ever produced.

For all those reasons and more, _Lion respected Connie **more than anyone**_ , and loved her as much as he loved Steven. And when the two of them fused into _**Stevonnie**_ , well, there was just _no comparison; **nobody** was as amazing as Stevonnie._

The thought of Stevonnie makes Lion stop contemplating the more distant past and vividly recall the death just several days ago of the two he loved most in all the universe. It was so _beautiful_ how they died fused like that, but it makes him so very _upset_ and _angry_ that he has to _live on without them **.**_ He wants to scream his denial and anger to the heavens; so he does.

Having now killed every last crystal-animal on the remote island, Lion stands before a pile of mangled carcasses; behind them is a rocky outcrop. He lets loose a mighty roar with _**all**_ his power, and completely _**annihilates**_ the corpses as well as the outcrop _and a whole swath of the jungle_ behind it; _"so much for protecting the ecosystem,"_ he thinks, _"Rose, Steven, and Connie really must be disgusted if they can see me now."_

And yet, he's still not satisfied. Will he _ever_ be satisfied, ever be _**happy**_ , ever again until the day he dies? He wishes that day would come right now, so that he can join Rose, Steven, and Connie in whatever afterlife they may have gone to, or even join them in _oblivion_ if that's the only fate which awaits the departed.

But he _**can't afford to die**_ yet, he knows that. So that he could satisfy his instincts as a hunter and a carnivore, Rose was "kind" enough to never tell the Crystal Gems about the dangers posed to Earth's ecosystem by crystal-animals. Even Pearl isn't old or knowledgeable enough to be aware like Pink Diamond was that even without all the terraforming and the Kindergartens, crystal-animals left unchecked can ravage the entire biosphere of a planet like Earth that's only populated by relatively weak native species. Pearl should have been able to figure it out, she knows for example about how deadly the shards of crystal-shrimp are, but Lion supposes she's never given it much thought.

No, Rose/Pink left hunting the crystal-animals as a job for _**him alone**_. And for a while, the Crystal Gems had their own hands full with corrupted Gem-Monsters that posed an even greater threat than the crystal-animals, so Lion was fine with the loneliness of his job. But by now, the never-ending hunt, the never-ending _**mission**_ to eradicate all the invasive creatures, seems at best like a means to vent his grief and rage, but at worst like simply another one of Rose/Pink's poorly thought-out and selfish decisions, a _truly lonely_ mission, an obligation which falls squarely upon his shoulders alone.

Lion doesn't resent Rose, and he never will, but he realizes now exactly what she meant when she told him she could be "thoughtless" and "selfish." Make no mistake, _she was a good person_ , but she was _**flawed**_ , as most people tend to be no matter how good they are, and happened to be a _great_ deal _**more**_ flawed than Steven and Connie were in the end.

What will happen if there _isn't enough time_ , if he succumbs to the weakness of old age before he can complete his mission? He's already been working at it for almost 250 years, and _**still**_ the crystal-animals continue to reproduce, to _repopulate_ like the _vermin_ they are. _"Perhaps it's only on isolated islands like this one that I can eliminate these pests for good,"_ he thinks, _"and perhaps Rose was **truly a fool** for thinking that I could ever **hope** to take care of this issue on my own. I've **lost count** of how many times I've had to return to the same places more than once to eradicate these things repeatedly."_

 _"If only the Crystal Gems understood the **importance** of my actions,"_ he thinks, _"then surely they could help me."_ Garnet with her future-vision, Pearl with her intellect, and Amethyst with her versatile adaptability and can-do attitude, could certainly assist him in completing this mission that seems hopeless all by himself.

It's then that he remembers something he'd forgotten during the several days that have passed since Stevonnie died: Both Connie and Steven told him before they passed to stay in touch with the Crystal Gems, to "not be a stranger."

 _"How could I be so blind, so stupid,"_ he thinks, _"have I already forgotten all the lessons that Connie, Steven, and Stevonnie taught me about friendship, about love, about **family** , about **the pride**? I was never especially close with them, but the Crystal Gems **are** my pride, because they were Rose's, Steven's, and Connie's pride."_

He's smart, as smart as humans. He'll find a way to tell his pride, to communicate with them about the ongoing problem, the mission that Rose assigned to him. He finds himself wishing that he'd learned written language so that he could write his thoughts in the sand on the beach.

But even without that, there should be a way. If he can get them to _realize_ he wants to _communicate_ , Pearl and Peridot are ingenious enough to build a machine enabling him to talk regardless of his lack of the necessary vocal cords. _"Could it really be that simple,"_ he thinks, _"that just as Steven and Connie would have told me, as Stevonnie would have told me, all I need to do is **ask my family for help**?"_

Yes, he'll visit the Crystal Gems, and he'll find a way to tell them about his problem, about his **_mission_** from Rose. But not _now_ , not _yet_. He isn't **_ready_** yet. Thinking about Stevonnie again has already filled him with an unbearable amount of pain and rage, with grief beyond measure. He may no longer _require_ food, but he's a carnivore, a _predator_ , and he _**thirsts for blood**_.

He needs to _**vent**_ some more. And so, he roars open portals to several random remote locations on Earth, sniffing the air through each of them until he detects the scent of crystal-animals once again; these are some big ones, seemingly including some of the rare extra-large variety of Crystal Basilisks. If there's _enough_ of them, maybe they can even give him a bit of a good fight, a rare case of a decent _challenge_.

In time he will go to the Crystal Gems for both comfort and assistance; he will go to them _soon_ , he promises himself. He _definitely won't disregard Steven's and Connie's wishes_. But he isn't ready yet. So for now, he jumps through the portal where he can smell the Basilisks; for now, it's time to vent his grief in _**the most unhealthy of ways**_. It's time to hunt, to mangle, to _**slaughter**_ once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The various weird "crystal creatures" that clearly aren't Gems, but also probably aren't native to Earth, that we saw during the course of the franchise always stood out to me as an unexplained mystery. We also saw that Lion likes to hunt such creatures. So I came up with this neat little idea here about what those creatures are and why Lion hunts them. I thought it would be cool if he's actually not hunting those creatures for fun, but rather for a good reason. Then I thought, "hey, what if this is another case where Rose/Pink screwed somebody over by not thinking things through enough and leaving them behind with a legacy that's just too damn much?" And that's how I came up with the idea for this chapter.
> 
> As for the actual canon franchise: Most likely, Rebecca Sugar just thought it would be cool to have some crystal lizards and shrimp wandering around ancient Gem ruins, and **_I'm probably putting way too much thought into this when it's something that Rebecca probably never really thought about or had an explanation for_** , haha.
> 
> And yeah, in the end a large chunk of this chapter ended up being a speculative character study on Rose and what may have gone through her mind shortly before giving birth to Steven, while also being a character study on Lion's love for the woman who made him what he is by having the compassion to shed healing tears for him when he died. I like to think that she knew deep down that Homeworld wasn't done with Earth; was it the Cluster that her "instincts" sensed, or was it simply a feeling of certainty that her sisters would one day return, or could it have been both? Could the instinct have been related to her empathic/telepathic powers/senses? Who knows; I'll leave that for you, the readers, to interpret as you please.
> 
> I imagine Lion as having a human-level intellect and being able to completely understand and even think in human language. There were many times in the franchise when it very much seemed like he could understand human speech, so I've decided to go with "Lion could talk if only he had the right vocal cords for it" as my headcanon here.


	6. "Mourning," Chapter Five: Spinel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel works through some aspects of her grief, managing to barely avoid descending into madness upon remembering something important that Steven told her

**Spinel**

The setting is on Homeworld, 23 days since Spinel and the Diamonds left Earth after the funeral. Spinel is standing alone in an empty room in the Palace. She spent all of the last 23 days playing games with the Pebbles (while no longer slaves, they've mostly chosen to continue working in the Palace), bouncing and stretching around the rooms of the Palace while juggling them as they giggled and she sang; but while she was able to do a good job _pretending_ , such games didn't bring her joy as they once did. Now after a little over three weeks, she's accepted that she has to stop putting things off and try to process what happened.

Upon her request, the Pebbles have left her (with sad, knowing looks upon their faces as they departed) so she can be alone to think. She stands thinking all alone, just as she once did for so very long; but this time around, rather than spending thousands of years thinking optimistic and cheerful thoughts, she's spending minutes and hours weeping while trying to come to terms with her pain and grief, like she did after seeing Steven and White's "message to the universe" in the Garden.

She knows they don't mean to, but the Diamonds are currently making her feel alone and abandoned just as Pink once did. But Spinel eventually came to _understand why_ Pink never came back for her, that even if the Galaxy Warp had still been functional, Pink couldn't risk doing so without jeopardizing everything she had fought for and built on Earth. And now, Spinel understands why the Diamonds are isolating themselves (truly alone like her, as they won't see or speak to _each other_ , let alone to Spinel) and not making time for her; she knows that they can't really process what happened.

Normally the Diamonds would use their powers to help her work through her feelings and heal, just like they helped her 82 years ago. But Yellow is in no mood right now to play around with shape-shifting. Blue **_needs_ **to isolate herself; her powers have reverted to their former state in which she spreads her misery to all nearby Gems, and those powers are raging completely out of control with Blue unable to reign them in. It's a testament to her immense willpower that she was able to control her powers while in the medical tent; Spinel knows that must be why Blue couldn't speak more than a few words to Steven and Connie. And White, well, _she's_ in no state to utilize her power of "connection," or to do much of _anything_ for that matter other than sulk and weep.

Even before Yellow's "billions of years" reveal, Spinel knew the Diamonds are _old_ , _**much**_ older than her; _so_ old that it took them months to comprehend the idea that for her, _six-thousand years_ was a _long time_ and that being abandoned for that long was a _traumatic experience_. They spent millennia (not nearly enough time for them) mourning their sister's demise, only to discover that she didn't actually die until much later to become the Gem-half of her son. Now, only 84 years later, they're suffering the pain of loss once again; only this time it must be _even worse_ , since now they've developed empathy and compassion and understand the true meaning and value of family. Family like their nephew and his human wife.

That's the thing, isn't it? Spinel's thoughts always keep coming back around to the same subject: **_Steven_**. Her history with him and her thoughts on him are _complicated_ , to say the least. When she first learned of his existence, she felt nothing but bitterness, rage, and resentment; she felt pain and misery from her abandonment by Pink that was so deep, so all-encompassing, that she _spontaneously poofed_ out of grief and regenerated in a newly inverted, "darker" form. And yet, even after her desire for revenge drove her to commit terrible crimes against Steven's family, his planet, and Steven himself, he _forgave_ her and extended his hand in _friendship_ , just as he _always_ did with his "enemies" (even if the "forgiveness" part sometimes took him a long time like it did with the Diamonds).

 _This_ pain now, _this_ grief, is even _worse_ than what she felt when she realized Pink abandoned her; yet _somehow she doesn't poof_ like she did 82 years ago in the Garden. She _wishes_ she would poof; retreating into her gemstone to regenerate would give her a _break_ , a much-needed _reprieve_ , from her depressing thoughts. But of course, such a train of thought is merely the desire to procrastinate, to _put off_ dealing with her emotions, and she already spent the last 23 days procrastinating.

Yes, her emotions. Like her _emotions towards Steven._ Like the others who mourn his loss, she loved him. But unlike them, she didn't just _love_ him, she was _ **in love**_ with him. She _thought_ she'd kept her feelings _secret_ , but apparently he _always_ knew and had told Connie, who somehow never held it against Spinel at all. In hindsight, it makes sense that they knew; she _didn't do a good job_ keeping her feelings secret until she improved her social-skills over the decades.

"For stars' sake," she says aloud to herself, "82 years ago when he visited Homeworld and I saw him for the first time since I attacked Earth, my eyes turned into hearts and I _kissed him full on the mouth_... well, more like on his _entire face_. Ugggh, just thinking back on that, it's _so_ embarrassing and humiliating; just how much more _obvious_ could I have been?"

"Come to think of it, I never did _apologize_ to him for that, did I? I really should have," she says to herself. She knows that Steven didn't fully enter into a romantic relationship with Connie until after those events. Spinel has a sudden, horrible moment of realization; for the first time in 82 years, she realizes that _she may have_ _ **stolen**_ _Steven's_ _ **first**_ _kiss._ She can't be sure, and now it's _too late to ask_ ; she has no idea what he and Connie had already done before that point, and it isn't her business. But the mere thought that she _might_ have thoughtlessly done such a thing, without asking first and with no regard for his feelings at the time, fills her with shame and guilt, as if she didn't feel enough of that already due to the crimes she committed when she first met him.

"Even if that wasn't his first kiss that I stole," she says, "I still basically... _sexually assaulted_ him. Sure, I didn't know enough about human culture at the time to realize that... but that's really no _excuse_. No wonder he got so angry and asked what was wrong with me. Some _'friend'_ I was, huh? I always _hurt_ him."

First she hurt him through malice, through hatred, through _violence_ ; terrible, wicked acts of violence that she can't ever fully forgive herself for even if Steven and everyone else forgave her, even if White thinks Spinel should just shift all the blame for everything onto her by proxy through Pink. Later, she only _continued_ to hurt Steven. _First_ she hurt him by disregarding his feelings and consent, and _then_ by being an idiotic goofball who was too _silly_ to realize that he needed a real _friend_ , not a _jester_ , which was the _exact_ same reason why Pink grew tired of her. Sure, she _apologized_ to him a long time ago for the violence, and upon his deathbed for everything besides the stolen kiss, and he _forgave_ her for everything, just as he _always_ eventually forgave everyone.

But just because Steven forgave her and Connie did as well, just because their family the Crystal Gems forgave her, just because White thinks nothing is truly Spinel's fault, doesn't mean that Spinel can just forgive _herself_. She begins to feel tremendous self-loathing. She speaks aloud to herself once again: "What _right_ did I have to **_love_** Steven, to feel... _romantic affection_ towards him? Just how _sick_ , just how **_terrible_** am I that I would _**dare**_ to feel _anything_ beyond a bond of friendship with the man who was kind enough to forgive me for all the awful things I did and offer me his friendship?

She knows on some level that she's being _unfair_ to herself, because people can't just _choose_ who they fall in love with. Isn't that why Spinel never hated Connie (and even grew to like her), why despite being jealous she long ago accepted that Steven would only ever have eyes for Connie alone? But regardless of what she knows on a logical level, Spinel still feels dirty, wrong, and evil. How can she be so awful as to have such feelings for a man who she hurt so badly?

It isn't _fair_ , _**none**_ of it is _**fair**_. Her love for him wasn't fair, neither was Connie's finite mortal lifespan, and neither was Steven's choice to age and die as a mortal with Connie. She begins to think, _"if only Connie had never been around, then maybe I..."_ only to mentally cut herself off before boarding that incredibly toxic train of thought again. Hadn't she already gotten past those thoughts many decades ago, when Steven and Connie got married and she attended the wedding? The "what ifs" don't matter, because they were always _impossibilities_.

Spinel isn't _such_ an oblivious idiot, at least not _anymore_ ; she can clearly see that Connie was Steven's _soulmate_ , the one he was _destined_ to be with. There's no point pondering different "possibilities," because none of them ever really _were_ possible. She's absolutely positive that if she asked Garnet, she would only confirm what Spinel already realizes; that there was never any timeline, never any statistical outcome or probability, in which Steven didn't spend his life with Connie and die as a mortal, _let alone_ any timeline in which he had feelings for Spinel extending beyond friendship.

But oh, how _lucky_ she was to even be granted that much, wasn't she? She had the privilege, the _honor_ , of being able to call Steven her friend, and Connie as well. Jealous or not, Spinel could _never_ dislike the other woman. Connie was just _too amazing_ (so amazing that the most amazing man in history fell for her) for Spinel to _not_ love her as a friend. Even after everything Spinel did, after all the ways in which she hurt Steven while sometimes being too oblivious to even realize it, he and Connie were more than willing, happy even, to be her friends. They really were the best people in the history of the universe.

Even Pink/Rose, as "good" and "heroic" as she apparently was, was _deeply_ flawed; rather than addressing the issues she had with Spinel by having a _proper conversation_ , she chose _the easy way out_ by _abandoning_ her, and by the time Pink may have realized she should return and talk things out, it was already _too late_. But Steven was not like his mother. He had some flaws as well, and some _major_ issues (but it's not like _Spinel_ of all people can judge someone for changing their form due to trauma and having an aggressive, monstrous outburst), but unlike his mother he _**stopped hiding**_ his issues; he chose to _address_ his flaws with the people who cared about and supported him. The same was true of Connie.

Steven and Connie really were the _best_. After working past their issues (although Spinel knows all too well that no one ever _completely_ gets over C-PTSD), one could say that despite how "nobody is perfect" as the saying goes, those two came _**as close to being perfect**_ as anyone ever did in all of history. So Spinel thinks, wasn't it incredible, wasn't it grand, wasn't it a stroke of the most amazing luck, that someone as _flawed_ and _awful_ as her was able to to call those two her friends? Sure, maybe Steven never did reciprocate the _kind_ of feelings she harbored for him, but she will forever be grateful for his and Connie's friendship.

But she's _still_ avoiding the _**real**_ , deeper issue here, isn't she? With the only _major_ change being the new realization of yet one more sin (that awful kiss) that she can never quite forgive herself for even if Steven did, she's mostly only rehashing trains of thought that already long ago arrived at their destinations, that she supposedly already processed while those two were alive.

The _real question_ is: _How can she **move on** now that they're __**gone**_ , now that she has to finally _accept_ the _reality_ of Steven's "choice" (not that it was a conscious choice to be with his soulmate) of mortality? How can she accept the fact that like Yellow said, she'll probably live on without him until the universe itself dies?

"This _**can't**_ be _**real**_ , can it," she asks herself as tears stream down her face, "it just _**can't**_ be." But oh, it is, it's so _**very**_ real, and _**it hurts too much to bear**_.

As she told Steven and Connie on their deathbed, a part of her was always in _denial_ as Steven grew old alongside Connie, always hoping that even if Connie died (and even then, she would still grieve for her friend Connie), Steven would somehow feel and become young again, that he would somehow live forever like a Gem so they could always be friends. What she _didn't_ actually tell them, what she _**lied**_ (even if only by omission) to them about, was that she entertained some far darker thoughts than those, and that up until the very end she selfishly _hoped_ for _more_ than friendship.

First, as the decades wore on until the point at which Connie and Steven grew elderly, she always had secret thoughts of a scenario in which Steven _extended_ Connie's life so that even if Steven would die with Connie someday, Spinel would at least have _much more time_ with him and Connie. After learning about Lars and Lion, it was so _easy_ to _entertain_ such thoughts, and so _hard_ to shake them off. Her thoughts on the matter were on the surface much like Lars' own (not that Spinel knew of Lars' thoughts, but she always suspected them): _"What if Connie got killed with Steven nearby,"_ Spinel would think, _"then Steven would revive her and she'd live for centuries instead of decades."_

But below the surface, her thoughts on the matter were _far_ worse than any of Lars', because Spinel entertained the thought of _doing it herself_. She suspects that out of everyone else, maybe _Jasper_ might _perhaps_ have had similar thoughts. It would've been so _easy_ after all: Just one quick _stab_ or one quick motion to _snap_ Connie's neck, then Steven would cry his healing tears and _voila, Pink Connie_. Until Steven and Connie were well into their fifties, it was often very hard for Spinel to suppress those thoughts.

Even _now_ , a small part of her, a **_toxic_** part of her, says that she should've just **_gone ahead and done it_** back when Connie was in her late teens or early twenties. After all, Steven and Connie would've _forgiven_ her for doing such a thing. She learned a lot from Steven about "mental health" and "diagnoses" over the years, so she knows that for someone with "psychosis" and "Borderline Personality Disorder" co-occurring with abandonment-triggered C-PTSD like she has, such "intrusive thoughts" of violence were "normal"; Steven himself even apparently had such an intrusive thought once about shattering White. She knows that Steven and Connie would've understood and forgiven her if she'd ever snapped and acted on those thoughts.

She doesn't feel _too_ guilty about those thoughts, though; Steven taught her enough about the "intrusive thoughts" thing that she knows the important thing isn't whether one _has_ terrible thoughts, but whether one goes ahead and _**acts**_ on them, and she's actually somewhat _proud_ that she always managed to restrain herself. At this point, what she mostly feels guilty about is the fact that she's _**still having**_ such thoughts in hindsight, and the fact that she _never told Steven and Connie about those thoughts_.

But no, there's something else, the _second_ thing she lied by omission about, that she feels far, far more guilty about, and that's her truest desire. Spinel's _**true**_ hope, in her denial and selfishness, was that _Connie would pass on while Steven would remain_ , and that perhaps _someday_ , whether it took a hundred years or a hundred millennia, he would grow to _return_ the deeper feelings she held for him, that maybe, just maybe, she could have a _"chance"_ with him. And she _**hates herself**_ for how she held onto such an incredibly selfish hope.

Spinel knows on _some_ level that the way she's cycling between feelings of self-forgiveness and self-worth and feelings of self-loathing is probably a "symptom" of her "Borderline Personality," but as usual being _aware_ of her issues doesn't necessarily help to make them _stop_. It certainly doesn't help that the Diamonds, who usually act as her "therapists," have left her alone with her own thoughts for the last 23 days.

Speaking aloud once again, she says in a tone full to the brim with self-directed venom: "I really am the **_worst_** , aren't I? I just kept thinking in a self-centered way until the very end. Even there in those last few minutes, I secretly hoped that Connie would die while Steven would turn young again... so that someday I could _**take**_ him for _myself_. Who am **_I_** to ever have been mad at _**Pink**_ for being selfish, when I'm _**at least**_ as selfish as her?"

Spinel chokes out a deeper, heaving sob, full of her grief and self-hatred, as she continues pondering her final goodbyes to the couple. They **_knew_** ; she may not have voiced her true thoughts aloud, she may have **_told_** them that she only wished Steven would live to continue being her _friend;_ but she could see in their eyes that they _**knew**_ her true thoughts even as she told them a stupid lie about desiring eternal "friendship." Those two were always so good at reading others' emotions, and those eyes of theirs _**could see right through her**_ just as they always did. She may have fooled everyone else (except perhaps Garnet and Padparadscha), but she _couldn't_ fool Steven and Connie.

She _lied_ about the true nature of her denial and selfish feelings, lied _right to their faces while they were on their deathbed_. They _**knew**_ that she was lying. And yet like they _always_ did, as was in their nature, they _**forgave**_ her, not holding it against her for even a moment. In those two pairs of knowing eyes she saw _no_ grudge or resentment, _nothing negative_ at all. All she saw in those eyes was compassion, understanding, acceptance, and the _love_ they felt for her as a friend.

Spinel wonders what someone as stupid, selfish, and awful as her could have possibly done to deserve friends as amazing as Steven and Connie. Could it be the universe's way of repaying her for the six-thousand years of abandonment, for the pain and suffering she herself endured? But no, that's a silly thought, and she knows it. The simple answer is that _Steven and Connie were wonderful people_.

Spinel wasn't surprised at all that _Steven_ forgave her for lying about her selfish thoughts and denial; Steven _always_ forgave her and _everyone_ else for _everything_. What truly _amazes_ Spinel, making her choke up with further sobs the more she thinks about it, is that _**Connie**_ _immediately forgave her_ for the lie and responded with friendship and acceptance.

It shouldn't really be surprising; like Steven, Connie was always a great person, a true _saint_. The issue is that Spinel can't help but feel like Connie _should_ have hated her, should have _resented_ her, should have **_called her out_** on her _lie_ , her _jealousy_ , her _selfishness_. She feels that she _deserved_ for the other woman to _despise_ her.

After all, Spinel stood there as Connie lay upon her deathbed with Steven, and _lied to Connie's face_ while harboring thoughts in which she wished for Connie to pass on _alone_ so she could _**steal** her husband_ for _herself_. Connie was her friend too, and that wasn't the kind of thought that friends were supposed to have! Spinel _knows_ , she _always_ knew, that it wouldn't be fair to either of the two if Connie were to die while Steven lived on without her, that it would cause both of them nothing but pain. Spinel told herself she wouldn't think about "what ifs," but _here she goes_ ; she never was good at being _consistent_.

Even if such an _impossible_ hypothetical scenario as Steven living forever had come to pass, and even if Spinel's idiotic and even more impossible hope for Steven to eventually return her feelings could become reality, he would still _always_ grieve the loss of his soulmate, his _**first**_ love, and forever be in pain. Even worse, if such a thing as the "afterlife" exists, then _such a scenario would have doomed Connie to eons of terrible loneliness, the **same** thing that Spinel once experienced_ and which traumatized her so deeply. To have harbored such thoughts up until the very end, for a part of her _to **still** harbor them even now_, is something that Spinel can't help resenting herself for.

Even though her thoughts were as toxic as that horrible Injector with which she once tried to kill the Earth's biosphere, Steven and Connie _still_ offered her the truest of friendship. _That's_ why she hugged them like she did, even though she _knew_ it was _stupid_ , that Connie was "elderly" and _fragile_ as humans eventually become. _That's_ why she held on to them for dear life and didn't want to let go. To the very end they were _the best friends that any Gem could **ever** have_. Sure, the Diamonds are wonderful to her, but even the three of them know that they can never be as great at the whole "friendship" thing as Steven and Connie were.

Spinel collapses to the floor upon her haunches and buries her face in her hands as she heaves out ever-louder sobs of pure agony. This really _is_ worse, _**so**_ much worse, than when she realized that Pink abandoned her. She wonders again how she isn't poofing from grief like she did then. Perhaps she's mentally _stronger_ than she used to be? She doesn't _**feel**_ stronger. She feels _lost_ , _confused_ , and _**oh so alone**._

Gems aren't like humans; Gems don't age and grow frail, and they can't die of natural causes. Spinel and other Gems have learned to change and grow far beyond their original "programming," but regardless, they were never **_designed_** , never _**meant**_ , to deal with _**this**_ kind of loss.

Spinel loved Connie dearly as a friend, and loved and desired Steven as even more than that. How was she supposed to move past this, to ever feel happy, to ever feel even the least bit okay or whole again? It's just so _unfair_ that humans are _mortal_ , and that their lifespans are so _**short**_! The period of time for which those two were in her life wasn't much longer than _**one percent**_ of the amount of time she spent standing all alone in the Garden!

She once again wishes that Connie had been killed while she was in her teens or her twenties so that Steven would've had to revive her. Spinel is savvy enough by now to know that while she's the only one who was ever _crazy_ and _violent_ enough (besides possibly Jasper) to entertain the thought of _doing it herself_ , that Lars and all the Gems who cared for the couple have surely thought about the "Pink Connie" what-if scenario as well. In such a case, even if they weren't around _forever_ , her friends could at least have been around for _long_ ** _enough_** that it wouldn't feel like it _**wasn't**_ enough, like it will _**never**_ have been enough, like it was _**no time at all**._

Spinel thinks once again, but now with even more empathy for her three friends/therapists/family members, that if this is how _**she**_ feels about how short that period of less than a century was, then the Diamonds, who are so old that six millennia standing in one place would be "nothing" to them, must be hurting _more than words can begin to describe_. She wishes they would stop _shutting her out_ and would hang out with her, not just because _she_ needs her friends right now but because she knows **_they_** probably do too.

Spinel doesn't even mind that being around Blue would amplify her own misery right now. Whether it was so she could cry together with them or so she could force herself to do a silly song and dance to cheer them up, she just wishes the Diamonds would stop _isolating_ themselves. Maybe then they could get back to _being **themselves**_ , to _**helping**_ people.

As she continues to heave out broken sobs, that last thought of hers seems to bring on a sense of _déjà vu_. _"Back to being themselves,"_ Spinel thinks, _"why does that sound familiar? Wait. WAIT!"_ She remembers now. How could she have been so forgetful?

Maybe on a subconscious level, she _deliberately_ forgot so she would have an excuse to spend 23 days in denial and then some more time degenerating into self-deprecation, pointlessly beating herself up over something that Steven and Connie forgave her for, something that was a product of subconscious feelings that she couldn't control, while also beating herself up over dumb mistakes from decades past. She suddenly realizes: who _cares_ if she never apologized to Steven for that dumb kiss, because he obviously _**already forgave** her_ because he realized she was super-oblivious at the time.

What she's suddenly remembered now, as if it were a _divine revelation_ , is what Steven told her upon his deathbed as Connie nodded along: "Promise us you'll try to move on and keep being the same funny, upbeat Gem you've always been," he'd said. And then again, right before the end: "Please try to move on and keep being yourself." And she managed to reply, to _promise_ them that she'd try to move on and remain true to herself.

Steven and Connie were the _best_ , and _because_ they were the best, they _**never**_ would've wanted her to descend into self-loathing and madness over a bunch of stuff that _doesn't matter_ because they were her _**friends**_ and they _**forgave**_ her. She may have trouble forgiving _herself_ , but she's _always_ had issues with self-worth.

Yes, she has issues. While the exact _nature_ of her issues has varied over the last six millennia, what remains true is this: _Just like Connie harshly (and justifiably) told everyone on that beach 82 years ago_ _, she needs to **get over herself** and stop making everything about her_, whether that be with her desire for "play" that drove Pink away, or her current desire to descend into horrific self-loathing and depressing speculation on impossible, hypothetical scenarios.

 _Grief and mourning_ are _**normal**_ , grief and mourning are _**healthy**_. What _ **isn't**_ healthy is to allow that grief to lead to all this pointless self-deprecation and speculation when the friends whose loss she's grieving would never want that for her. Those two wanted Spinel to _pull herself together and not beat herself up or regress back into madness._

Spinel is still crying, still heaving out broken sobs, but that's simply due to _grief_ , because she needs to mourn the loss of her friends. One of those friends was the man for whom she felt deep, unrequited love, the other was that man's soulmate, his wonderful wife who never held any grudge against her despite Spinel's jealousy and desire for the woman's husband.

Of _**course**_ she's sad, of _**course**_ she's crying, because they were great people, the best friends anybody could ever have, and her time with them was all too short. _"But dang it, I'm not gonna go throwing some stupid self-loathing BPD pity-party,"_ she thinks, _"not now, not after I made a **promise** to Steven and Connie, a promise I plan to **keep** gosh darn it!"_

With tears still streaming from her eyes but a look of determination beginning to grow on her face, Spinel stretches her arms out all the way to the walls of the room, then allows them to snap back to their normal length and slaps her cheeks using the momentum from the recoil. She says aloud, "it's about time I _slapped some sense_ into myself" (ha, Steven and Connie would've laughed at that), and she rises to her feet once more.

She's Spinel, the "funny, upbeat Gem," and she made a promise to Steven and Connie that she would try to keep being herself! So grieving or not, crying or not, _**she has work to do**_ , and that's to be there for her _other_ friends, the ones who are _still_ around and _always_ will be, and _slap some sense_ into _**them**_ too!

She'll be funny and crack jokes if she has to, _or_ she'll get serious and talk about feelings if that's what her friends need from her, because unlike 82 years ago she knows how to be serious when it's truly necessary. She'll remind the Diamonds of what Steven and Connie were always about, which was _to live freely and enjoy life to the fullest_! She'll remind them of what Steven and Connie would _**want**_ for them, which is to try their best to move on just like _she's_ now going to try! Moving on might take a few years, a few millennia, or countless eons, but she and the Diamonds have literally _all the time in the universe_ to figure this stuff out.

Now that she's broken out of her funk of self-loathing and thinking about stupid what-if scenarios, Spinel realizes something: Entertaining such toxic thoughts is _**exactly** what the Diamonds are doing_ right now! Knowing them, during the last 23 days that they've spent holed up in their rooms they've _surely_ been beating themselves up over all their past misdeeds against Steven and Connie _who already forgave them for everything_ , while thinking about pointlessly impossible scenarios like "what if Steven hadn't fallen in love with a human." _That's_ why they're isolating themselves; the three of them are totally the types to think they're so awful that they _deserve_ to be all _alone_ with their anguish.

Well, Spinel _won't allow_ the Diamonds' own self-loathing pity-party to continue, _not if she has anything to say or do about it_! She doesn't care anymore that they told everyone, including her, to stay away and leave them alone; they're her **_friends_** , her _**family**_ , and they **_need_** her! The three of them really are like family to her, although since Gems like her don't have actual relatives, she can't exactly pin down whether they seem like her mothers, her aunts ( _"well okay not aunts,"_ she thinks, _"because that'd make Steven my cousin or brother, ewww"_ ), or her much older sisters.

Connie was a great friend, and Steven was a great friend who _helped_ Spinel. Well, the Diamonds are great friends, great _family_ , _who helped her too_! Sure, when she _first_ joined them on Homeworld things got off to a rocky start thanks to their issues with empathy at the time. But once she was _honest_ with them about how six millennia was _most of her lifespan_ and felt like a really long time _for her_ , about how Pink _hurt her_ really badly, the three of them began to _learn_ true empathy. In the process, they learned how to use their powers to _**help**_ Gems rather than to _hurt_ them, and they used those powers to help _**her**_ become healthier and happier.

While they soon decided to use those powers for the benefit of _all_ Gems who needed them (especially those who they once hurt), the fact is that they **_first_** turned themselves around for _**her**_ sake, to help _**her specifically**_! She takes back her previous thought about them not being as good at friendship as Steven and Connie. Because really, what Gem could ever _**hope**_ for better friends, better _family_ , than people who would _**invert their entire nature, learn empathy, and turn their moral compasses around just to help her**_?

Now it's time to _**return the favor**._ So what if the Diamonds _**say**_ they want to be isolated and alone? Spinel of all people knows that _loneliness isn't healthy_ , and she **_won't allow it_**! Sealing themselves in their rooms means nothing to her; Spinel is a powerful Gem who can punch the doors down if she has to. But it won't come to that unless they physically throw her out of their rooms; for now, she can just contort herself to slip through the tiniest of cracks or passageways. She's going to go visit all three of them and help them process their grief healthily, _without_ idiotic self-loathing or pointless speculation, whether they "want" it or not! And maybe by helping them process their grief, _she can help herself do the same_. She certainly hopes so.

Spinel was _made_ to be a _friend_ , a companion who would bring joy to others. In the past she wasn't very good at her "job," which was why Pink left her and why Steven grew frustrated with her inability to take things seriously 82 years ago. Now in Era 3, Gems get to decide what _they_ want to do with their _own_ lives. Spinel has _learned_ how to take things seriously and actually connect with people, and like many Gems has decided that she _does_ in fact want to be _**exactly** what she was designed to be_ in the first place. So she's going to be a **_friend_** , a _companion_ , a _family-member_ , and cheer up the people she cares about!

And _she's not going to take no for an answer_ ; she won't let those three push her away again. So with tears still trickling from her eyes but a look of newfound purpose and immense determination on her face, she slaps her cheeks one more time before yelling, "YO PEBBLES, YA GUYS STILL AROUND?! I'm done needing my privacy or whatever, so could ya help me out with something?"

After a few seconds a tiny hidden door opens in the wall through which a Pebble appears and says, "yes, we're here Spinel. Are you... _okay_?" The Pebble is surprised when Spinel replies in a positively **_chipper_** tone that contrasts sharply with the tears still trickling from her eyes: "Heh, no way, _of course I'm not okay_ , but I think that _someday I will be_! Anyway I was wondering, ya think I could use your little passages to get to Blue's room? I can stretch reeeally thin, so I won't get in your guys' way or anything!"

The Pebble doesn't look surprised, in fact she looks like she _expected_ this to happen eventually. But she's still a bit hesitant, and before agreeing to the request she asks Spinel, "are you _sure_ you want to go see _Blue_... right _now_? You're _already_ crying and she's... well... her powers ar-"

Spinel cuts her off by saying: "Yeah yeah _I know_ , she's dropping _sadness-bombs_ left and right, that's _exactly why_ I've gotta go see her! I'mma do Steven and Connie proud by cheering Blue up whether she likes it or not, and then I'mma get her to help me cheer up Yellow and White! So whaddya say, can I come in?" The Pebble replies: "Of course Spinel, go right ahead. I'll show you the way to Blue's chambers through the walls."

And so, keeping her promise to Steven and Connie by managing to crack a mischievous smile in spite of her pain and her tears, Spinel stretches into the shape of a long flat noodle and slips through the tiny doorway, following the Pebble to Blue's room.

_**TO BE CONTINUED in Blue's chapter** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first glance it may seem as if Spinel "got over" things too quickly in this chapter. But here are a couple points to consider:
> 
> First, she's not _actually_ over her grief yet, not by a long shot. She's just finally beginning to process her grief in a healthy way. You may have noticed that I've portrayed her grief using the "five stages" model, and this chapter featured a whole lot of the "denial, anger, and bargaining" stages. She just worked past the _most toxic_ aspects of those three stages, and now needs to work on the "depression" and "acceptance" stages.
> 
> Second, it's canon that Spinel has an uncanny ability to process vast shifts in her reality and new emotions remarkably quickly; it took her only a few hours to go from discovering Pink's betrayal and breaking down from the trauma of 6000 years of abandonment, to warping all over the place to gather equipment to go on a roaring rampage of revenge. Then in the span of less than a day, she was able to let go of her desire for vengeance. So it's actually _very in-character_ for her to spend 23 days in deep denial, only to then work through things very quickly to the extent she does in this chapter.
> 
> Yeah, I'm writing Spinel as being _aware_ of her mental issues (BPD, C-PTSD) as well as how the Diamonds are basically her therapists, because it's been over eight decades and I like to think that Steven helped her figure herself out like the great friend that he is.
> 
> Also, _I myself have Borderline Personality Disorder_ (although in my case not tied in to any PTSD or anything) and have experienced various issues stemming from that, including occasional near-psychosis and intrusive violent thoughts (although not on nearly the same level as Steven's or Spinel's thoughts) and a tendency to rapidly cycle between self-worth and self-loathing. Spinel is a super-ultra-insanely-extreme example of BPD, but nevertheless when writing the parts about Spinel's various psychological symptoms, I was at least on some level basing it on _my own personal experiences_ with mental health.
> 
> In case anyone is worried after the last paragraph: Have no fear everyone, I'm fine and will likely continue to be fine! I see a very good therapist who helps me a lot :)


	7. Big Update: The Revisions are Complete, New Chapters will Eventually be Forthcoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a quick update on the current status of this story! TL;DR VERSION: _**The fic is NOT dead and the revisions to the first six chapters are complete!**_ I strongly advise everyone to re-read those chapters now, including the first "main" chapter as _I changed and added a few very important things!_
> 
> However, it may be a while before I come out with the next chapter; see below for details!

Good news, everyone: After spending a whole lot of time on them, _**I've finished the revisions for the first six chapters of this story!**_ They are now in their "final form" and ready for everyone to read! I recommend re-reading not only Chapters 2 through 6, but also the "main" story in Chapter 1, as _I did add and change a few important things in the first chapter where Steven and Connie die_!

However, none of the changes are so important that re-reading is a requirement, so nobody needs to feel obligated to do so.

As you all may remember from my last update and from the notes at the beginning of the first chapter, a lot of the changes and revisions I made have to do with the Jasper/Lapis focused prequel to this story, _"Doing Something Better,"_ that I'm currently writing. The reason the revisions are now done and Chapters 1 through 6 of this story are in their final form is because I've gotten far enough in the prequel by now that all my ideas about the characters and their development have now fully solidified/crystallized (Gem-pun, heh).

It's not just my ideas on Lapis and Jasper that have changed as I've mapped out the prequel story, but my ideas on _**all**_ the characters, and that's why I made major revisions to _**all**_ the chapters of this story. _**The first/main chapter as well as the chapters for Lars, Lion, and Spinel have especially been majorly changed/overhauled**_ from their original forms!

As before, reading the prequel _"Doing Something Better"_ is _**by no means a requirement**_ in order to read and appreciate this story. The prequel isn't even done yet anyway, and won't be for a long time! This story is able to stand completely on its own and separately from the prequel, and it should be very possible to appreciate it without reading the prequel! However, for those who wish to _specifically_ gain a better insight into Jasper and Lapis' parts in this story, especially the parts regarding their relationships with and views on Steven and Connie, I do recommend the prequel! As I'm writing this story concurrently with the prequel, those of you who read both stories will find _some_ spoilers in this story for the not-yet-completed-and-posted chapters of the prequel. However, none of those are things that should be too surprising.

The next chapter will actually be Jasper's, while obviously featuring a little bit of Lapis as well although Lapis will be getting her own separate chapter. However, I can't promise you that the chapter will be posted soon: It's still very much a work in progress, and I'm currently working on revisions (in this case for wording/grammar/syntax and such rather than any major plot-elements, so nothing big will change) for Chapters 4 to 8 of "Doing Something Better." I have a lot on my plate working on both fanfics simultaneously, and I've also become quite busy and have a lot going on in real life! So bear with me, and please be patient as the next chapter may not come out for weeks or even months! But as before, I promise you that _**this fic is not dead and I will not allow it to die**_!

When it comes to waiting for new chapters of this fic as well as the prequel: _**I'd say to view it the way we all viewed the wait for new episodes of the canon franchise**_ back when it was still airing! _**There will be hiatuses** and I can't necessarily tell you just **how long**_ those hiatuses will be, and I apologize for that, but just like Rebecca always did, I can tell you with certainty that _**more is coming and I won't leave things unfinished!**_ Heh.


End file.
